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my daughter is very bright. almost to smart for her own good. she gets into everything and doesnt listen when i say no. she seems to think that im playing with her all the time and just laughs and runs away. how do i make her realize that im not playing when i say no.

i dont want to spank her, because she is only 15 months. but i dont know what else to do. im a single mother and i want to make it known to her that what i say goes. but she just doesnt listen.


Asked by luvlyluvme0212 at 1:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • At this age, laughing and running away is the normal response to "NO".
    What to do?
    (1) Redirect or remove. "No, you can't play with the scissors. Let's find a fun toy instead." Put the forbidden item out of reach or remove her from the area. Find that other toy and play with her for a few mintues to reward her for accepting the restriction and moving on.
    (2) Calm down time. If she throws a fit, put her in her time-out spot. If you haven't picked one yet, get one. Pick a quiet spot where you can stay nearby, with no toys, no TV: the bottom step, a chair in a quiet corner, a mat in the middle of the floor, an empty play pen, but not her room or crib. Take her to her spot and let her throw her fit there. Do not try to calm her down but you can sing to yourself softly until she does. Stay in her sight but do not interact with her. If you leave the room, she may panic since she feels out of control and scared.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:25 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • At 15 months redirection works pretty well. It sounds like she is running things. You have to let her know that she is not in charge and you mean business. You need to start now or it's just going to get worse as she gets older.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 2:16 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • that's a tuffy, i have had the sameissues w/my 2nd since that age. she is a menace.
    ifind that when i'm about 2 snap, the quick movement & change of mood while buckling her in her highchair 4 a minuete or two helps her accept she has done somthing wrong.
    just until she relizes her restriction,(or change of pace, per say) & that she has been limited. most parenting advice i have read about kidz that young say 2 avoid punishing, or ignore bad behavior & focus on positive reinforcment.
    but i'm w/u. somtimes.(more often than not, sadly) i am at my wits end

    Answer by justtrned30 at 2:23 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I don't know but take and apply any advice you get. My sil's kids are horrible! They have no respect for her or her husband. I hate to say it, but I really don't look forward to spending time with them. They hit, bite and scratch when they don't get their way. Yeah, I know it's sad.
    She made the mistake of letting them be spoiled by the grandparents. Put your foot down and don't let anyone overstep the boundaries you place.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Once she is calm, hold her in your lap and say something like this:
    Thank you for calming down.
    I know you were angry when I took the scissors away.
    Scissors can hurt you.
    Let's find a fun toy to play with.
    Then find that toy, play with her as a reward for calming down, and move on with your day.
    (3) Time out. You can start now but it won't be really effective until closer to 2. If she breaks a known rule or refuses to leave something alone after you have tried step 1, then you do a time out. Take her to her time out spot. If she throws a fit, let her calm down on her own and ONCE SHE IS CALM, give her the time out time too. You don't have to say anything, just glance at your watch and let her sit there for an extra minute after she is calm. The proceed with taking her in your lap and saying those simple sentences I mentioned before.

    Consitency pays off big time in the coming years.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:30 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Why wouldn't you spank her? She knows what she is doing but she also knows that you are allowing it. She is manipulating you and loving it. You need to start by telling her only once very clearly and make sure that you are making eye contact, if she decides to disobey then you need to go get her immediately, tell her again, slap her leg and make her do what you require. Then you say thank you, good job and smile at her. Keep this up and she'll learn to obey willing. She has to learn early that there are consequences to everything. I have been providing childcare for years and children obey at a very early age when you take the time to back up what you say.

    Answer by lilhoney at 11:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2009