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Sperm Donor And His Girlfriend...I Need Advice!

Sooo here is the back story, DD's sperm donor doesn't see her very much at all. Well his gf and I have had tons of drama, she has lied to me concerning Sperm donor, among other things. She will not stay out of our business concerning DD. I do not want her around my daughter. They have only been dating 3 months. Well last month she got an abortion. I am pro-life, but that is not the issue, she wants to be in my DD life, when she chose to kill her baby, because "she didn't want to be pregnant while he was deployed". Hmmm....Yeah....

Okay, So the issue of the day, I texted Sperm Donor and asked him if he wanted to take DD and I to the park and spend the day, seeing as DD's "Daddy" is gone for training. Well Sperm Donor said only if his gf could come. No. I don't want her around my DD.
So...should I stick to my guns or just cave?


Asked by Sparta. at 5:05 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (24)
  • Sparta, you have Sole Legal and Physical custody correct?? If that is the case, then you have EVERY right to ask that his GF NOT be present. It does your DD no good to have someone in her life that is not going to be around, and SpermDonor's GF has not yet proven that she's in it for the long haul. If my DS bio-dad wanted to see MY son, he would D@MN sure be doing it on my terms and that would mean proving himself trustworthy and NO gf would be included in THAT package. SpermDonor is your ex for a reason, we don't need those details, and if you don't want his GF around your baby and he REALLY wants to be in DD's life, then there shouldn't be any problems with that. Esp as it lets hims and DD get used to each other first without outside influence clouding his mind.

    Answer by Aidans_Mom915 at 10:12 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • stick to your guns.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I'm trying to get it straight. You have a daughter with a sperm donor who has a girlfriend that is a pain? Is sperm donor an active participant in your child's life? Either way, for now, if you don't like the girlfriend, stick to your guns until she proves to stick around with him for a while.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:09 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • If u don't like her then don't let her around your baby. Its your baby. If the dad wants to see her he can make a point tp come see her without gf. If not its his loss. Your dd doesnt

    Answer by calliesmommie at 5:11 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Well, if you give in and let her come you know that you can no longer use the excuse that you don't want her around your daughter anymore. You can't allow it this one time and then in the future say no. Well, you could, but it wouldn't be fair. I say don't do it. You would just look like a hypocrite.  Also, why can't he he take your daughter to the park without you?  I don't understand why you would ask him to take you both.  If I was his g/f I would feel uncomfortable.  Now if you were already at the park and you just invited  him to meet you there then that's different but to actually ask him to take you and her would be crossing the line IMO. 


    Answer by vnw1405 at 5:11 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Need the stress becaus. She will feel it.

    Answer by calliesmommie at 5:12 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • She nurses and won't take a bottle, that is why I asked him to take us both. Back in the day we were great friends. I also don't trust him alone with her for that long. He will not come see DD without his gf. Which isn't much of a loss I guess since he has never really been there.

    Answer by Sparta. at 5:21 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • so it is ok for your SO to be with the child but not his? That is hypocritical.

    Answer by ZaTa at 5:39 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Stick to your guns. He doesn't want to be around her if his gf can't come?

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 5:45 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • ZaTa,
    it is not hypocritical, for the simple fact that my SO paid for her care and everything she needed while Sperm Donor was not paying child support. SO continues to take care of her. SO was there from the time she was born til now, whereas Sperm Donor was not. My SO is the one who puts her to bed at night, the one who carries her to the house from the car, despite the fact that Sperm Donor is standing right there. SO is the one who calms her down. He is her "daddy". Sperm Donor is just that, a sperm donor.

    Answer by Sparta. at 5:53 PM on Mar. 21, 2009