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Feeling Guilty.

In March of 2008 my two oldest girls dad called me up after court one day and told me he didn't want the girls anymore. I begged him crying on the phone and tried to figure out a way that he would change his mind and stay in their lives (even though i hate him, the girls dont..) he hasn't seen them since.He hasn't even called me since (I know he has our numbers). But In court not too long ago he told the judge I was keeping the girls from him. So not true! But I decided even if he did call I wouldn't let him see the girls cuz its been too long, and their hearts have healed, kinda. He's always in and out of their lives, and i'm tired of him hurting them. Well, ever since he expressed in court that he wants to see them I have felt about as big as a grain of sand when it comes to this topic. He's a terrible influence (a liar, a theif, and always gets arrested infront of them) but I feel so bad that he can't see them.. Should I?

 
MJ_BN_FE

Asked by MJ_BN_FE at 5:38 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 8 (212 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • DONT feel guilty. He is obviously not a good father and, sad to say, does not care for them. Him telling the judge that you dont let him see them is his way of trying to hurt YOU because he wants you to go on a guilt trip or be forced by a judge to allow him to see them. From what you have said, in my opinion, he doesnt care about him he just wants to have control over the situation and put you between a rock and a hard place. Be strong. They dont need a dad that is a disaster, they already have a mom who clearly cares A LOT about them. GL with everything..
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 5:47 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • he also hasn't even asked me how they are doing all those times he saw me in court. He never speaks to me. One of our daughters had open heart surgery to fix a defect just before we split, he has not even asked how her heart is doing!
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 5:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • NO, do not feel guilty. You have to protect those girls. When he can grow up and be a parent he can earn the privilege back of seeing them. Stay strong, he's a disaster and what benefit is it really, to the kids?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:40 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I agree. There is no reason to feel guilty about trying to protect your babies from a pretty shitty person. If a father can say the words that he no longer wants a part in his childrens' lives that really says something. So why would you want to let a man back in that was able to say those words and not feel horrible? I think you are doing great by keeping them away from him. If all he's going to do is break their hearts then they don't need him in their lives. A father is always nice to have around if that's what he is...a father...not an inconsiderate low life prick which this man seems to be.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 5:51 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Your job as a mom is to keep them safe. If their dad is not a good man than why would want them to see him? A sperm donor is not a Dad.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 5:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • YOU ROCK!!!!! he sucks... Keep your head up, girl!
    jonosmama

    Answer by jonosmama at 7:27 PM on Mar. 21, 2009