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how else can he hurt them

My ex told the kids today that it is their fault for him getting a divorce from their step mother. He tells them that they are nothing but liars and everytime he promises to come see them he breaks their hearts by not coming. His kids are beautiful and hes missing out on so much and they are old enough to know. They are 15,12, and 10. How can he hurt them like that

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heavenlypeace

Asked by heavenlypeace at 10:23 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • becuase men are a**holes
    Mamaof2010

    Answer by Mamaof2010 at 10:25 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • He's angry and acting like a child.

    I can tell you right now my husband's ex tries to ruin our marriage blatantly, she ruined his marriage in between hers with him and mine with him, literally (even according to middle ex) So ex's do have that power however taking it out on the kids is mean.

    I have had SD tell me if she didn't like me she was going to ruin the relationship and told me the many sneaky ways how (thank GOD she loves me because it would have chased anyone away lol)

    But fact is they're still kids, wheather their actions were malitions, or just plane on normal child/teanage behavior he shouldn't hurt them with such cruelty.

    Instead of trying to encourage a relationship with an idiot just because he has a biological link (see BM's I don't discriminate here) focus on the loving links the kids do have. Perhaps "Dad" will just fade away for the kids own good.
    Praying

    Answer by Praying at 10:30 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • What a Ba$tard! Seriously I would suggest taking the kids to counseling or a mediator, let them tell that story, then go to take away visitation rights. He has no right to tell the kids that...erghh just wish parents knew how much it hurt kids to be told that kind of stuff, that anything adult related is "their fault" (this comes from personal experience). He's going to find out that he was stupid when the kids decide they've had enough and refuse to see or talk to him.
    kicknscreamn222

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 11:04 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • I'm pretty sure that all the kids are old enough to decide if they want to continue visitation with their BD. If they no longer want to (and the oldest probably doesn't after hearing that BS come out of dad's mouth), then don't force them. That's mental abuse.
    trebelcleff

    Answer by trebelcleff at 11:23 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • That is terrible! Just reassure them that it is NOT their fault and hard as it may be do not bash their father they are old enough that they are forming their own opinion about himand know that he is a jerk with out you saying it. Also if they don't want visitation try to get open visitation- I don't know if all states do that but my son was able to get that with his ex-father which meant if he didn't want to go he didn't have to.

    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 12:05 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

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