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My sister In-law said I shouldn't praise my 19 months old soo much about everything he does because..

I am pregnant with number 2 & some of the attention will be taken away from him so she thinks I shouldn't make such a big deal about things.... whenever he looks at me to say hey mommy look what I did I always go over to him give him a big hug & say how good he is & his face just lights up ..... I think she's wrong on this do you???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Mar. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • I agree with you.
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 11:47 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Oh dear god. Keep it up and dont let your sister-in-law tell you what to do. That is great you show him how important he is to you. My boys are about 23 months apart and I think it helped alot that fact that my oldest knew how much I loved him and how special he was to me. He didnt loose any attention when the baby came either. I just made him my helper, he helped with changing diapers throwing stuff away, we read stories while I nursed, he did "laundry" with me. You just do what works for you and your kids, dont listen to grumpy people.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:50 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • My daughter is 16 months old, and she'll be around 20 months when we have #2 here with us.. and I know exactly about the critcism of other people on "don't do this and don't do that cuz otherwise when the other baby gets here you'll be in trouble!" Just forget all there rude comments and do what you've been doing.. there is nothing wrong w/ wanting your son to be the center of your "universe" and life. If you didn't praise him when he did good things you'd be considered "weird" I would think. Some people tend to think that they know it all when they really don't and they don't think before they talk. Even though it's your sister in law, I'd still tell her "well thank you for your concern but I've got it handled" or something like that.. Good luck!
    armywife4ever08

    Answer by armywife4ever08 at 11:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • Your SIL sounds like she needs some education in the child development department.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • She does.. she also "has" the best car & look at my jewlery blah blah blah while behind doors she can't put down the wine bottle & her husband is a weirdo lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Mar. 21, 2009

  • my sons development/ speech teacher said the best way to avoid bad attention getting is to tell him how good he is doing because they will do good things to get good attention. great!
    MickeysMom19

    Answer by MickeysMom19 at 12:18 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I think you are being a great mother, and your SIL is just jealous, I would ignore her. IF she gets too pushy, tell her, this is your son, and you are raising him YOUR way.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:36 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • she sounds cold.

    thats what all good mommies do
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:41 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Oh, boy. If you stop now, he'll probably associate it with the pregnancy and think it's his little brother/sister's fault - which would essentially be true. He may also think that means you care more about the new baby than him. I'd continue on as normal.

    The only thing I really see as necessary for the transition is to include older siblings with the baby as much as possible so they don't feel left out.
    xtwistedxlovex

    Answer by xtwistedxlovex at 4:51 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Well, we KNOW he's good. All kids are good.

    Maybe she meant that you should be saying what a great job he's doing instead? It's not that you're not supporting HIM...but you're praising the job he did..."You did a great job cleaning up! Thank you!" "That's an awesome picture you drew! Let's hang it up!" "What a wonderful building you built!"

    On the same note, when he does something wrong, he's not a "bad boy" but he made a poor choice or did a bad thing.

    He's ALWAYS a good boy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

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