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what do you think

my sisters husband is an aspiring artist as in singer. so he always goes to his friends house to use his studio to record songs. but this is the thing, he never comes home. and shes always crying and confiding in me about it.. right now hes still gone and hes been gone at the "studio" since friday.. he always gone for days at a time and its over night. now on the other hand he came to me and told me to talk to my sister and tell her hes not doing anything and hes just doing music. why does he have to stay gone so long though.. sometimes its 4 days without even calling.. and he doesnt answer his cell..... is he cheating? or really making music all that time.. and think about this... the guys house who he says he staying at wouldnt he get sick of him sleeping over and being around his family all the time? i dont know what to tell her.. at this minute she is upset

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • tell her what I said, she needs to confront him once and for all after she's decided if she's willing to take the backseat to his love for his career, a lot of women can't hack it....think of where your whole family will be if he makes it though....try to be happy, musicians tend to be the most caring people when they come back to the real world.....how did she not know it was like this when she married him? truly passioned musicians don't just spring up over night, he would have been into music for a long time.....I hope she finds what makes her happy...
    Adeline1210

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 9:51 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • musicians can be self centered people and they can be obsessive about their work. As a writer I know I can't stop when I'm on a roll. I don't care how long it takes and don't care what I miss out on when I'm inspired to write. It's a fear you will forget it and lose the thought. Is he cheating? We can't answer that. Is it possible he's working on music. Yes. Appreciate him for his motivation and drive for his craft. She will be rewarded in the end.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:27 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • No one knows whether he's cheating or not but it is true that a lot of artists can't stop the creative flow. Personally I couldn't deal with the situation but I've not had the opportunity to find out how I'd react. A friend of mine's hubby was a musician for years and she sat in on a lot of it but you do have to know how to be quiet and stay in the background. Looks like he'd have to take time to eat and shower tho and he should call and say hi atleast during those times. If he's staying with a family, then why couldn't your sister go over there to visit him unless there's problems between her and them. Unless there's a shower/restroom/fridge in the "studio" wouldn't the family be distracting to him too? She should become friends with the guys wife if at all possible, or drive by and see if his car is there or something to ease her mind. Sounds like this is what she's going to have to deal with if she wants him.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:37 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • She should def. talk to him, I am sorry but love for the career or not, He should still be able to call her and let her know where he is and that he is not coming home, I have to agree with her that he has to be up to something maybe not cheating but something isnt right, she needs to be sure to tell him she doesn't mind his "career" She would just like to know he is safe, If he can't give a real reason why he doesn't come home for days, Doesn't answer his cell phone, and doesn't bother to pick up a phone the entire time he is there, then she should tell him she can't do it. And I don't blame her, its bull crap.
    Mommyxtwo777

    Answer by Mommyxtwo777 at 10:45 AM on Mar. 22, 2009

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