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For those who grew up with hearing "I love you" on a frequent basis

do you think it made a difference in your life? On you self-esteem? self-confidence?ability to make relationships, feel love later???
This is one of those occur to me in the middle of shower questions. I don't remember my parents saying I love you very often and my mother was never a very physical person but I am so my kids hear I love you constantly (2-3 times a day) and get cuddle and hugs and of course cause I have NO patience I began to wonder and (want to know RIGHT NOW - LOL) if it may make a difference on how they feel about themselves and others later in life?

Impatient mommie wants to know

 
MamiJaAyla

Asked by MamiJaAyla at 12:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,278 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • YES!! IT makes a difference. The words " I love you" are some of the most powerful words a person can say. NO matter how much you show someone you love them, it doesnt replace the words that you say out of your own mouth. My dad told me he loved me every day and still does. My parents are quite affectionate and we are that way with our kids. Its very important and even if you think that your kids know you love them...never, never fail to say it. My teen just needs to hear me say...I love you....and it seems to make most of the issues we are dealing with doable again when it was looking bad. Also remember moms....Its easy to cuddle babies, toddlers and even younger kids, but once they become tweens and teens, they make it harder to be affectionate and you have to really make an effort. They don't come to you and crawl up in your lap anymore. You have to seek them out. This is the time when its MORE important to do it.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i heard it all the time, my mom cuddled me all the time too. I still have issues with confidence and self-esteem. I also hate to be touched now. I can make and keep relationships and i do love.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Yes, it made a difference to me and I hope it makes a difference to my kids. Like you, I never want them to feel unloved for a moment.

    When I got in trouble as a kid, my mother used to say to me, "I don't like your behavior, but I always love you."

    *sniffles*

    I use that one on my kids now.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 12:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • You are alot like me. I don't feel my mom said it enough either. She was the whole hugs and kisses mom either. But I made sure I was with my girls and with my grandbabies. They are the same way. I always get a kiss and hug and I yuv u from the grandbabies and the daughters!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I really can't remember. I had a troubled teenage hood...and so we weren't very close then. Just lately my mom and I have been ending phone calls with "I love you"...it took this long for me to KNOW that she does. I tell my children so often that I love them that they kind of roll their eyes at me. I don't know if it will make a difference in their self esteem issues or anything but they will never ever have to question if they were really loved by their mom and dad. They will KNOW they were. Of course I also fully believe the words are empty if not followed by loving actions...that part is harder but I commit to making sure my kids know I love them completely. No matter what.

    I am a very affectionate person and most of my family is as well. Hugs and kisses all the time. It's how I grew up.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 12:38 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I was one who did NOT hear it. Only from my grandmother and she died when I was fourteen. It was hard for me to trust people and even hard for me to believe it when my hubby told me that he loved me. I tell my kids that I love them several times a day and I'm always hugging and kissing them. I hope they always remember that and keep it in their hearts.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 12:42 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I heard it a lot I also heard I hate you and you are a horrible kid a lot. My parents were so young and emotional we heard it all and it confused me about love. My son only hears I love you and positives from us. I don't want him to be like me and have trouble expressing his feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i heard it all the time, and now my kids hear it too. my 4 year old cant go 5 min with out telling me. it makes me feel so special.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 4:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I promise you that telling your kids "I love you" is the best thing you can do as a mommy and it is so great for their overall mental and emotiona wellbeing.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 11:27 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I didn't hear it alot growing up....I don't recall my mom being affectionate with me. My dad probably never gave me a hug. In turn I am SUPER affectionate with my son. We are constantly saying I Love You in my house and the hugs are never ending...I think it's the best thing you can do for them to build their self esteem and confidence. Is to love them and show them your love.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 11:07 AM on Mar. 23, 2009