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im ready to start getting out there in the dating world but im afraid that no guy will want to date me because i have a kid.do u have any suggestions to help me get over this fear

 
luvmommy42208

Asked by luvmommy42208 at 12:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • Well, what really turns guys off of women you have kids, is if they think or can tell if they woman is wanting a handout.... If you have a good job, a car of your own and maybe a house.... they will be less likley to run! cuz, that lets them know that you can take care of yourself and arent in it for help or a handout..... get what im trying to say? The more independent you are when you are single with children the more attractive you will be to a man...
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Just be sure to leave your kids out of it for a while... Make sure they are with someone you completely trust when you go out dating and to be very safe, you're loved ones will be there no matter how good or bad the dating is... Try to double date, there is safety in numbers.. And have some fun, just don't fall for the first one and if you do take it sloooow... GL!!
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 12:37 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i dont have any advice on how to help you feel better about the whole dating thing, but be honest with the guy and tell him upfront that you have kids, that way you will know how he feels about it from the beginning, and youd be suprised at how many guys are actually ok with dating a women that has a kid or kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • You just have to be careful. Don't look for guys at bars. They are not looking for relationships. Try to meet a guy either at church, school, library or some activities he may be with his children, even a grocery store. But no bars. It is very important to remember not to bring him home right away. Don't introduce him to your kids right away either. Make sure he is aware of them, but don't introduce him too fast. It's a very slow process. You have to make sure he is really wanting to do it, and wanting to be with you first. I know it sounds weird, but screen your dates. Look them up on the internet. (You have to these days) Be leary of everyone. Not just for your safety, but the safety of your children. Remember you don't want a loser, you want a good guy. Look in the good places. That's the best advice I can give you. Good luck.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • just put yourself out there and be honest im sure you will find someone :]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 12:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I'm remarried to a wonderful man with no children & I brought in one. Remember you are worth it & deserve to be with someone wonderful. Don't settle. There are plenty of great men out there. Some might even have kids themselves.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Soonmommyof3 said it best! I can tell you if I had been in a needy position my hubby wouldn't have wanted to take a second look at me... I have 3 boys, and did when I met him, but I had a car, house, I was set, I even told him I wasn't looking for anything serious because I was fine on my own, I just wanted to date and make friends.. It's funny now because we're married and I told him I would never do that again... So yes it's possible to find someone, and they will love your child, but you have to be able to stand on your own feet first... I think men think it's sexy too,lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i kind of feel the same way but you got to tell him the truth about you having a kid and wait awhile till you get to know him and honestly trust him for him to be around your kid
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Just relax, you are just entering the dating scene, you don't have to worry. It is when you start to get attached to someone or things start to get serious that you have to make sure he is comfortable with you having a child. Think of dating as a screening process. lol
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 4:15 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I had three kids when me and my now husband got together and he didnt have any. He knew about them though and he knew I was a package deal, all or none. He even spent the whole day at the park with them more than once. If this guy wants to get serious about you it will be no problem that you have a little one. I say just take it slow and maybe find out how he feels about kids before you tell him
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 5:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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