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Mommys little Girl

How do I get my 9 month old to not get so attached. I cant leave the room to go to the bathroom without her screaming. I let her cry but I dont like it. She wont let anyone else hold her because she wants me. I am the ONLY person that takes care of her and I dont see that changing in the near future. She doesnt even like it when daddy holds her. Any suggestions. We've tried crying it out and it doesnt work


Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 1:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • aw welcome to attachment anxiety! My LO started this around 9 months too. I find it helped DD when I would play peek a boo. I would get up to go get a drink and play peek a boo with her several times before actually getting the drink. I would also talk to her, "mommy is just going potty. See? Mommy is all done. Mommy is coming back now," and that helped to calm her a bit. The best way to stop your LO from being like this is to reassure them and to know that they DO grow out of it (then back into it, then back out of it . . . lol)

    Answer by epoh at 2:33 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • around 9 months babies usually go through this phase of attachment issues. The best thing to do is play games like peek-a-boo which teach her that when your gone you always come back. The truth is though that your really just going to have to wait it out try and let your husband hold while you sit or stand near by in her eye sight slowly move away the more comfotable she gets. The stage is normal but it is important for her to form a bond with her daddy to.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 1:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I've heard they go thru a stage around that age. My dd is 7 months and might be getting to that stage. Maybe try peekaboo or try "flying" her back and forth between u and daddy. Make a game out of it and she will know that u will always come back.

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:46 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Yeah, probably a phase. That's usually the 1st wave of separation anxiety... the second is combined with serious stranger anxiety which comes around 18 months. Try to let your husband care for her as much as possible. But she'll probably grow out of it. And just try to wear her or bring her along if you're doing chores. You won't have to do this forever.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:15 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • This is absolutely normal behavior for this age! You ask "How do I get my 9 month old to not get so attached." Your baby is SUPPOSED to get attached to you! When baby is left to cry they don not develop healthy attachments and end up with an attachment disorder.
    Do not leave your baby alone to cry. When you have a baby this age you just have to bring them with you everywhere. They don't yet understand that you are just in the next room and will be back. When they see you leave they think you are gone FOREVER.
    Stay with her, or bring her with you, and before you know it she will be running away from you! If you try to push her away and expect her to "grow up" too fast she will remain clingy.

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 4:39 PM on Mar. 22, 2009


    Answer by angelairelan at 8:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • At this age, object permanence develops. So I doubt they think we are gone forever when we leave the room. But they know they can use their voice to bring us back. Also, it is a phase. 8-9 months old is the norm for separation anxiety to develop. My son is 9 months old, and I am in the same boat. I'll give him to daddy, run to the bathroom, and open the door... he'll have crawled himself to the bathroom door, bawling his eyes out. (Hence the fact he knows I'm behind the door, not disappeared forever.) He fights to get away from his dad as well. I'm at loss what to do. Most of the times I make it quick when I'm in the bathroom, or just leave the door open and disinfect the floors, toilet, and everything frequently!

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 11:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2009