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She just won't listen...

My three year old daughter will not listen to anything I say most of the time. She has developed the biggest attitude. She does not care about consequences, I have tried everything. She will lie even when she has been caught, as soon as my back is turned she does something she knows she's not supposed to. I am at my wit's end, I don't know what to do next. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Sahminky at 2:21 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • Good luck is all I can really say. My son is 3 and doing the same thing. I just have to keep reminding my self to count to 5 before I start to punish my son because I will end up screaming and that wont help either of us. Any way I just wanted you to know you are not alone. and I wish you patients and good luck.


    Answer by joleensboys at 2:27 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Find some help so that you can get this under control now. You don't want this behavior to continue when she is older and bigger! A great book is "KIds, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurchina The 1-2-3 Magic program is AWESOME!! Get that dvd and you will have her whipped into shape in no time! Go to

    You can get the dvd on amazon for $36.  I'ts not cheep for a dvd but pretty cheep if it helps you get your kid under control!


    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 4:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Well first off I thought it was just me going through it. I think it has something to do with her being a girl too. I've had older women tell me that. My boy is 18 and still listens better than she does. I never had the problems with him that I do with her. My help is that I am older now and have more patience. Prayer helps also. There are times I have to take her to a quiet room, get down to eye level and just let her know what she is and is not going to do because I am the mom. If she does it there are consequences to be had. Following through with said consequences is major too. Next I just look to my son and know that she will grow out of it be cause he did. She is just three and the world is still new to her so a lot of it is just experimenting with what she can and cannot do. That is why we are parents, to guide them and direct them in right and wrong. Children cannot be left to themselves to figure that out.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 5:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • My daughter knows that if she does something she is not supposed to, she better tell me the truth because punishment for lying is always worse than punishment for whatever she has done. She knows I will not tolerate lying. She poured out a whole bottle of covergirl foundation the other day, all over the bathroom, and then lied to me when I asked her what she was doing in the bathroom (she said she was pottying and washing her hands). When I went in and saw the mess, I told her that lying is not okay, though she already knows this, and that her punishment was to go straight to bed whereas if she had told me about doing it, she would have had to help clean it up, but then she would have been done with punishment. She hated it because then she had to take a nap for lying! She does know that the truth is always less punishment though, so 99% of the time she tells the truth now.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 6:05 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • AprilDJC

    That's the thing though, if I try to send her to bed, she won't go. She just screams and throws herself on the floor for hours, literally. She won't stay in her bed for more than 3 mins until she tires herself out so much that she falls asleep. Arrggghh.

    Answer by Sahminky at 8:46 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I know it's the 'in vogue' thing, but we spanked. not for all the little kid things. ONLY for deliberate disobedience/deffiance.

    let her scream on the floor, in her bedroom with the door closed.

    Lies get double the punishment than admitting truthfully to the infraction. usually physical labor.

    to me, the " 1 2 3 " thing just teaches them they it's OK to disobey the 1st two times I say it.

    Answer by Kiter at 8:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • YOU are the parent. I agre with kiter... and that is how we do it. Except we have a chair for temper tantrums, its in the laundry room seperate from anything fun. If my preschoolers start to throw a fit, they are told to go to the chair, if they don't or if they say no, that is disobediance and they get a spanken, then they get to go to the chair. I would follow the rules of spank for disobediance, disrespect, and dishonesty... oh and danger. Yes, her butt will be sore for a while because she will push aas much a possible. But in life, we have to physically discipline ourselves one way or another to see real changes emotionally. Life is not easy or comftorble, you need to discipline her NOW so that she can discipline her self in the long run.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • my son is 4 and i swear this is him everday

    Answer by dita at 11:56 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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