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Do you prefer your children to be close in age or have more of an age gap? Why?

My siblings were all born close together. When I was born my mom had 4 kids and the oldest was 5 years old. Before I was two my younger sister was born and by the time I was 4 I had two younger sisters. Growing up there was always so much going on I felt like I kind of just blended in, like I was just there. I didn't get a whole lot of personal attention because there was so much going on. When I went to my prom it wasn't a huge deal because I had two other siblings attending that year too. That was the way it was with most things.
Now with my kids I plan on having them more spaced out. My first son got my full attention for the first three and a half years of his life. I plan on doing this for my 2nd also and any other children I have.
So do you prefer them closer together or further apart? And why?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • really dont matter to me... sounds like you where a bit into yourself to want all the attention or jealous of another sibling...... Are you not close to any of them?
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • well, i only have one, BUT i had origanlly wanted more, and i wanted them close in age.
    i have cousins that are 14 years apart and so while they are sisters, they werent really growning up together. I wanted to have kids no more than 3 years apart so that they could be close enough in age to play with and enjoy eachother.
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I would prefer my children to be farther apart in age than closer together. I am having a baby boy in August and I wouldn't want to have another until he is at least 4. I'm thinking this way because I don't want to have 2 kids in high school and college at the same time and I always want to spend as much individual time with him as I can before I introduce another baby that will take up alot of my time.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 5:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • soonmommyof3 that was really rude! How can you call a 4 year old selfish for wanting her mommy's attention!? And no where in this did she say she was jealous of her siblings! Why do you feel the need to be rude to her? She asked whether your children were close in age or not. Not whether or not you thought she was selfish!
    Anyways OP I have spaced my kids out about 3 years so I can pay them full attention when they need it most.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • My girls are 15 mths apart....my husband wanted them to be closer in age but I held out. If I had to do it over I think I would not have fighted it so much....my girls are BEST FRIENDS and I love that they are always there for each other.
    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 5:42 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I prefer them close together but I don't have the energy to do that any more. My first 3 were born within 28 months (15 months and 13 months between them). Then there is a 3 1/2 year gap between #3 and #4 and there will be a 3 1/2 year gap between #4 and #5. When I was pregnant with #4 and had her I HATED the 3 year gap. I just could not get into baby mode again and didn't start enjoying my 4th child until she was a little more independent (around the time she turned 1). I'm not sure how it will be with this one. My kids will be 9, 8, 7 and 3 1/2 when it is born with the older 3 in school all day and my 3yo is very independent and barely needs me (mostly I just make her lunch and she is already wanting to do that on her own like her older siblings).
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:57 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • My second is 26 mos younger than the first, and the third is 2.5 years younger than the second. That's just kind of how it worked out. I like the spacing... close enough that they can play together, but not so close that one was not at least a little independant before the next came along.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:59 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • im not gonna have any more for a while but i would want enough space in between babies so that the oldest could be a baby for a while and have all the attention for a while
    lmaines22

    Answer by lmaines22 at 6:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I prefer my children further apart, I just feel like I couldn't build a strong trusting relashionship with my daughter if I had already had another baby, I'm sure people can, but I just can't. My husband and I are talking about trying for #2 soon, which will put my kids more than 3 years apart.

    HMHUTSON

    Answer by HMHUTSON at 7:52 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • If I ever have any more ( I have one now) then I want them at least 3-4 years apart.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 11:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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