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Really sad when my hubby says no to sex

Even though I know that my hubby is tired from work or stressed...when I try to come onto him and he says he is not in the mood I cry. I get so hurt and feel that he doesn't find me attractive anymore. Does anyone else get like this because I worry he is just having sex with me sometimes so that I don't get upset. It sucks

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Give the man a break - maybe instead of s-e-x, he'd appreciate a nice neck rub?

    Or try talking to him about why he is stressed?

    And give yourself a break too.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I think it is because my ex husband stopped wanting me and even though my hubby says I am georgous...I can't help but think maybe he will stop wanting me to. You know...get bored with me like my ex did. My ex once fell asleep between my legs....ya know? Can't be that gorgous

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 7:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • well now you know who the op didn't post anon

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 7:31 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • honey... we can all get that way it should return to normal soon

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 7:44 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I would cut him a little slack. Maybe offer to do him a favor and it may put him in the mood. LOL. Cut yourself a little slack, he probably still wants you, but sex takes a lot of effort.

    Answer by coala at 7:45 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I know....I think its sorta like emotional baggage that my ex gave me. I just worry that he will stop finding me attractive cuz he has me all the time. Like get bored with me. I don't know.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 7:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I have had the same kind of feelings with my DH. He hasbt been working and it has caused a lot of stress between us. Now i am insecure because he cant fully release himself unless he isnt frontward facing me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • OP, please deal with the issues of your ex. I think you are using sex as a way to feel good about yourself, and you so desperately don't want what happened before to happen again so you are over sensitive to the issue, and trying to over compensate with quantity instead of quality. Talk to your hubby and tell him how you feel, try to have a real conversation and don't be too scared to let your true feelings show, try to find out his side of the story, he might be stressed from HAVING to preform, etc.... I hope I have not upset you, I have been there...I put my fears on my hubby and it almost destroyed our love life, now it is stronger than ever.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Its okay my DF is the same way and honestly we have sex myabe about once a week and to me it sucks because I want much more but he just isnt that horny

    Answer by hautemama83 at 9:10 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • A good man doesn't need sex to find you attractive. It's just the icing on the cake.

    Cut him some slack. Pressuring him is likely to do more damage. Instead, talk with him about his day. bring him a cup of coffee or a beer or whatever he likes for a wind-down, and be his listening post if he needs it. Give him a neck rub, make him a special ANYTHING but bug him for sex.

    It works.

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:21 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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