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Do you think Moms can really relate to Step-moms?

sometime moms that do not have step children (and all the crazy drama that goes with it), just don't understand, well, that's what I think.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • I admit I know I wouldn't understand it. I just can't imagine my child being raised by another "mommy"! Probably would make me a little crazy drama queen, too!
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 8:18 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Tis the reason I have always avoided men with children when I was dating. No drama, No time. I found a single man, never had been married and NO children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I wish my ex would find someone that makes him happy, instead of living through our kids, they worry about their Dad way too much.. It's not their responsibility to keep Daddy happy, it's his...
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 8:23 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • No, moms have no idea what steps go through. And I personally couldn't do it and I know it.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 8:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Its miserable to be the stepmother sometimes. I love my stepson so much and care tons about him and his BM will do anything in her power to make me miserable. DH does what he can to keep me included but it is hard sometimes especially when he is away for work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • No, unless you live it you don't know. You cannot. Even if you have friends in that situation, or relatives, it isn't the same.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • My dd has a stepmom. Totally overstepped her bounds left and right for the first couple of years. Would try to make meetings with my kids teacher and NOT tell myself or my ex about it. It was crazy. Tried to force my kid to call her mom. (she only sees her four days a month, if they bother to get her.) Would show up 5 hours late for drop off/pick up and was totally oblivious as to why I was upset.

    I think the understanding has to go both ways. My ex and I deal mostly with each other now, and live our spouses out of it. For some reason, they are more bitter than we are. Weird.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 8:52 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I disagree lovinangels, your situation sounds rough, but I am a step mother and I am not bitter at all, I love and take care of my step son just as if he was my own. I take charge when I need to, I've been with his dad for awhile now and we have legal residency of him. I think moms are more jealous because some one else is taking care of there children and with her ex. The mother and Father decided not to be together, what did they think neither one would fall in love and get married??? I also have my own son with a SM and I am not a bitter mom either because I now exactly what it's like to be a stepmom.
    MrsG423

    Answer by MrsG423 at 9:07 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I will say that I think Step Moms bring out the drama queen in BM's. Having said that I would like to tell you that I have a 13 yr old SD. I am not in the business of collecting children. I have 5 of my own thank you. I told my SD and her mom from the get go waaaay back when I met her dad when she was 6 that she already has a mom and her mom will always always love her best. You only get one mom. I am not trying to upsurp my place in her mothers life. I think this kind of set the tone if you will and we...SD and BM and I have a good relationship. BM knows I will back her and DH for the most part. I may add my 10 cents as I have 5 and she only 1 and my oldest is 23, but in the end the decision is hers and or theirs. I have been lucky. I also read a book called Step Mothers and it helped me to realize that I am not Satan if I am not a gazillion percent involved in every move she makes.

    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:21 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I know that before I became a stepmother I had very rigid notions that didn't apply outside of my narrow, nuclear-family experience. I had somehow twisted my feminism into "women are always right, even when they're wrong." which is an outlook I've had to rethink in order to accept a true definition of equality.

    I think that people (women, men, with or without children) cannot truly understand the multiple ropes tugging on a blended family from every angle.

    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 10:16 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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