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Is it wrong to give up custody of my kids?

I want their dad to learn more responsibility. He has total freedom right now to do anything he wants. Live where he wants, work where he wants, and drive what he wants. I have to take into consideration everything I do - how it will impact my kids. I want more freedom and I'm considering telling him he has to take them. It's his turn. I love my kids and I know a lot of people are going to criticize me, but I just need some space so I can figure out what to do with my life. I know this would probably have a negative effect on my kids (ages 6 and 9), but I seriously feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. Please tell me what you think.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (100)
  • maybe you could look into joint custody...but i could never give up my child. ever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • troll

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • If you really feel this way and their dad wants to take on full custody then go for it. Were you a young mom? I know a lot of moms who got married young and hit, say 30, and decided that they needed their freedom and youth back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • well, i Was gonna say that if you're in the situation where you're in a bad environment and your children dont need to be around that, then theres nothing wrong w that choice..but you simply want daddy to have his turn parenting, that sounds wrong. do joint custody..parents have nervous break downs all the time and they dont just give up their children, they look to family and friends to help with the children. ithink you are selfish if thats the only reason you want to give up custody.

    Answer by tnteaton at 9:01 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • "I know this would probably have a negative effect on my kids..."

    Then how could you do it? It sounds like you're being jealous and petty. It sucks that he's not stepping up and sharing the responsibility, but using your kids to try and force him into settling down and growing up while you get a much needed (and I'm sure it is much needed) break just does not seem like the right thing to do.

    Do you have any other support? Family or friends that could step up and help you out for a while? Does he ever keep them? Would he? If I were you I'd definitely try to find another solution. If you really feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown PLEASE seek help. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • He said he would have to take some time to prepare himself to have them, but I was never given that opportunity, so why should he have it? Yes, I had my kids young, and I am about to turn 28. I know life's not fair, but it just seems so wrong to me that I get the day to day responsibilities and he gets to have play time on the weekends and school breaks. Give me a break!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I would'nt give a damn what kind of freedom their daddy had,or what he done,no way in hell,would I give up my kids,sounds like you are just jealous,that he is living his life and you are stuck at home with the kids.Does he not get them for visits? everyone gets stressed having kids,but to actually say enough is enough and send them to their daddy,so you can have your fun now! poor kids

    Answer by Val504 at 9:06 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I hate to say it, you did have the opportunity. No one forces you to have a baby. There are options, even if you don't like them, they are still there. That being said, I don't blame you. That is why I was smart and waited to have kids until I was 28. You do what you have to do to get by I guess.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Why did you have them? Kids are about sacrifice. You can't just give them away because you decide you need time. There is no way I'd give my kids up, I don't care what was going on. They are mine, they came from my body.

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 9:12 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I think that if you're willing to use your children as punishment against their father, than they're probably better off with their father.

    Answer by Avarah at 9:13 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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