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Has anyone ever placed a child up for adoption, and then a couple years later got pregnant again but decided to terminate the pregnancy?

Terminating mostly due to still grieving the child you lost, no support system, financial reasons, still not ready to parent, AND can't relinquish a child a second time.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (49)
  • Why the hell would you allow yourself to get pregnant again knowing you could'nt take care of another one? So just have an abortion,because you are greiving? I would think ,you would want to keep this one to make up for the one you put up for adoption.Does'nt make sense.Where are the daddys?
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 9:21 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I haven't done this, but I can't imagine going through either. good luck with your decision, and I'm sorry that you aren't ready to be a mommy...it's been a great thing for me. If it's not for you then you will know, but it sounds like you do want to someday be a mom. I probably wouldn't terminate this one, it sounds like you really regret the first adoption. babies are a great thing, and almost never are planned, lol
    Adeline1210

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 9:29 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Maybe I should have made myself more clear.. my birth control failed. I took it at the same time everyday.. I hadn't had sex in years until I started dating the guy I'm with now. HE is also considering abortion.. there are two options we are looking at.

    Try being a bit more sensitive Val504. We all have had sex during a time we weren't ready to parent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I do apoligize,I am just so touchy about abortion,as a birthcontrol method,if I knew for sure I was'nt ready for a baby use a condom also. Good Luck to you.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 9:39 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I got pregnant again within 2 yrs of giving up my child. And I KNEW I could never do it again...so I sucked it up & had my baby & decided to be the best damn mom to my baby that I could be...so once day when my other child comes looking for me that I am able to show her that I was able to improve my life after adoption instead of staying stuck in some endless merry go round of grieving
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Thank you everyone.. I'm just terrified. I feel like I'm being disloyal to the son I placed up for adoption if I were to raise the child.

    I'm also worried about what people who know me (mostly my family) will think. I'm so scared to tell them... ah!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Women these day's aren't responsible enough. Good thing there is a place to kill off the cute babies because mommy didn't want me enough. Yeah!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i would consider a 2nd use and birth control (like a rubber) and the pill the next time you have sex. You can not relie on a pill to keep a baby from being born. please do not kill this child and put this up as well and have children when you are ready.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I know you think that it's gonna be easier to have an abortion than it is to give it up for adoption again, but you will still grieve this child as well. But you will probably grieve this child harder because you didn't even give it a chance at life. Atleast the other child is living and probably being raised good, and you would completely be taking that chance away from this baby. I understand not being ready, but most of the time when a woman get's pregnant, she's not ready. Even if they've been trying forever, they're still not completely ready. I think you shouldn't be so self doubting and should try your hand at being a parent. Things usually work out in the end, and if you have the baby and it's 2 or 3 months old and you realize you just can't do it, then i'm sure you'll still be able to find a great family to adopt the baby. Good luck with your decison, and there are groups here that offer support.
    FinleyFirst

    Answer by FinleyFirst at 10:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • This child is here, NOW. You will grieve this child just as much if not more if you terminate it's existence.

    I'm sorry people are being so harsh, and you do need to just abstain until you're married next time, but now that you're in this situation think about it.....

    Isn't terminating a life that's already begun worse than giving it away to people who can love him/her?

    Or keep the child! At least you're still in a relationship with the person.
    Praying

    Answer by Praying at 10:47 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

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