Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Father of my child..

the father of my child broke up with me. he says the reason is because he feels like if we are together that we would be together forever and he is not ready for that kind of commitment right now.( i am in college and this pregnancy was not planned. ) he says that he will be there for me and thinks we could be together again if we work on trust issues (he has a lying problem and i have an obsession with his ex girlfriend). he has broke my heart once before a year ago. i dont know whether to cut him out of mylife and his childs or try to be friends and work on wat we have. he talks to his ex but promises me they will never be together again. he says he doesnt need to talk to her and he is friends with all his ex's which is true. i woul ask him to not talk to her but i am afraid bc sometimes ppl want things just because they cant have them. she has continuously tried to ruin our relationship by contacting me and him. i need help

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i honestly couldnt tell you. im in the same place right now. almost exactly. i wish i could help...
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:22 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Wait until you have the baby and BEAT HER ASS...LoL On a serious note I wouldn't cut him off completely I would try and work on things I felt like I need to work on and if it didn't work out I would move on. I would still let he be there for his child but i wouldn't just cut him off completely. Guys are flaky and they never know what they want until it's gone.. Give it time and you will figure this out.

    TaterNJo0sMommy

    Answer by TaterNJo0sMommy at 10:23 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • thanks for ur advice.
    annie27713

    Answer by annie27713 at 10:24 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I am sorry, the whole situation just sucks. I have been there too, having a baby with a guy who just wasnt ready. The only thing you can do at this point is just be a good mom. Hopefully he will see that things arent the same without you, but dont pressure him about it cause he will just feel more traped, you want him to miss you, not want out more. I wouldnt keep him away from the baby though just because you 2 arent together, he still deserves a chance to be a dad if that's what he wants. But dont do what alot of young girls do either and let him have his cake and eat it too, if he comes wanting to hook up and using the baby as an excuse, stop him, he needs to make mature decisions because like it or not, he is going to be a dad regaurdless. Good luck, just do your best at being a mom...the rest will fall into place.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:25 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i am the person who posted the question.. i think you guys are right. its just so hard not to call him when i am upet or something. i want to make him miss me i just want to stop answering his calls or act like i dont need him. its so hard though. i feel like i need to get away for a week and not bring my phone haha. it's hard not to talk to someone who i feel so connected with.
    annie27713

    Answer by annie27713 at 10:28 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I was with my ex for almost 3 years and he didn't appreciate me. When I finally got sick of his BS and moved on I worked on the issue I needed to and give it some time he eventually came running back. Too late though i had already found My perfect match. We have been together for 6 years have 2 kids and are getting married in May..

    TaterNJo0sMommy

    Answer by TaterNJo0sMommy at 10:33 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Been there done that. Don’t ignore his calls. You need to accept that fact you and him are not an item. Only converse about the baby. Keep it short and sweet. Don’t just go find someone else to fil the void either or you may end up in the same situation. Pray on it and everything will work out. Maybe not the way you want but for the best. Best wishes.
    alladream

    Answer by alladream at 10:35 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I would erase him out of my life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • i think alot of us can relate.. ive been with my 2 year olds dad for a while and his ex (stripper) they hae a son thats 5 months older. I was always worried about him getting back with her. on thanksgiving he even invited her to the family dinner, and said i wasn't invited and my son wasn't because it would cause problems, his own gf is not invited, but his ex is? that worried me.. and hes cheated on me and out of my own issues of self protection, i cheat on him. i swear that i dont, becuz i truly do love him, but i dont want to get hurt. idk. i have recently cut off everything with all my other bf's becuz i realize i want to try with this.. and tonight i said to me "you dont love your son as much as your other one" and that set him off and he seriously said we shouldn't be together and he will be his dad, and we can be civil and not be together. this upsets me and ive wanted to end it before becuz it seems like too much work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I went though that, and probably after 8-months I truly didn't care. I didn't cry, I didn't think about it, nothing. I moved out and left him. This was about 12 years ago. He tried finding me 1 maybe 2 times. 1 time I ripped up his # that he left my friend.

    I happened to see him on myspace a few years ago. But, I didn't do anything.

    My life and my daughters life is perfect WITHOUT him. My daughter asked maybe 1-2 times, I explained to her and she said he's a jerk too. And she is 13.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN