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I think I want a divorce, and I think believe divorce is wrong -

Any advice from Christians who have faced wanting a divorce or actually done it...did you regret it later?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (26)
  • I don't know why you're thinking of divorce, since you don't go into detail.

    However, as a Christian, I believe divorce in the case of abuse, drug abuse, or habitual cheating is a breaking of the vows. If your husband is doing this and refuses to change, I think you are free to divorce. But, following the "letter of the law" you're not to remarry until his death.

    This is how I understand scripture. I suggest talking with your church's reverend/pastor for more personal help. *hugs*
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 11:34 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • thank God Christians are no longer under the law but under grace. In response to the 1at poster.

    You need to do what you think is best. Divorce should only be a last resort. Not an an escape. Do all you can to save the marriage but if he or she doesn't want to change then you have the choice to do such but I would not encourage it!
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 11:38 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Timelessglass is correct in saying that cheating and abuse is good ground to divorce (biblically speaking) However I was raised in the Church of Christ and we are taught that it is biblically ok under those two circumstances to divorce your husband or wife and remarry. Also if your husband is not a Christian and he wants a divorce you can remarry as well.

    All of these of course being done after trying to do everything to save your marriage. Ex:: counseling (i'd reccommend a christian counselor so the views and beliefs are the same) talking with your preacher, and really truly and honestly trying to make it work. If you know you have done everything in your power to save your marriage and one of the above mentioned are a factor then divorce is ok. But remember it is never easy and seeing it happen in our church people will still tend to whisper about it. I wish you the best of luck in your decisions and be sure to pray!!
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 11:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Thank you, he doesn't cheat or do drugs. He doesn't hit me - but he scares the crap out of me. If I don't agree with him on something he twice now has threatened to kil himself. (not so his daugther could hear)

    We fight about his daugther. She lives here and I take care of her, I do try to show her love but apparantly I don't show her enough love b/c tonight she was crying again that I am not loving enough and I always tell her things she has to do (all I asked her to do today was pick up a napkin, come to dinner, and sit near her Dad so he could supervise laptop useage)

    I don't think her chores are much - they are take care of her dog, change sheets twice a month (hers only), wash her bathroom twice a month, and dust once a week (the dusting was only added in b/c the dog hair everywhere)

    She's 15.

    I don't want to talk to someone in the church b/c I am worried I don't know - I just don't want people I know to know
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • OP above btw
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • He needs counseling. FAST. Treat a threat of suicide as something SERIOUS.

    And for Pete's sake, why go to church if you're no going to turn to them for help? If they'r goin to think badly of you then you're in the WRONG church!

    As to the stepdaughter...can anyone say "spoiled?"

    At this moment you don't need a divorce...you need a therapist to see your husband before he really does blow himself away. He might take you along with him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:52 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • Maybe she's spoiled or maybe I'm just not loving enough? I am so deep in this I don't know anymore, but I do know that if I'm not loving enough - that I'm giving all I can -

    You're right about the church part - the past two times I went to them for help they weren't much help - I like the church because SD likes the church and it's a good influence on her. It doesnt help me much tho.

    We had one counselor but I think she was kinda young and just listened, didn't do much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • A- not to sound mean, but you need to get over yourself and talk to someone in your church. Your marriage is more important than feeling like your friends might know. Talk to the pastor- he's not going to 'spread it around' church.

    B- if your husband is threatening suicide- he needs HELP/ now.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 12:21 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • smack the spoiled brat stepdaughter, and tell your hubby to grow a pair and act like an adult!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Anon 1:21

    As self pleasing as that idea sounds, somehow I don't think it would make matters better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

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