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younger cousin doesn't want me to tell her mom she got her period...

ok, so the other weekend my son and i spent the weekend over at my aunt's house with her daughter (14) and two sons (8 & 5). well, while i was there, i was doing the laundry and noticed there were some wash cloths with blood on them. no one had been bleeding or anything and i put two & two together & went to talk to my cousin. she's had her period for about 6 months now and usually uses tampons but her mom had taken the rest of the box on vacation with her. she asked me not to tell her mom because her mom is one of those women that tells her family EVERYTHING. she & her own sisters & mom are close, they talk about 'girl stuff' & whatnot & my cousin doesn't really want her to know. she's a smart girl, very responsible, we talked to make sure she understood about menstruation & pregnancy & told her that if she needed birth control i'd be with her when she talked to her mom. is it wrong to not tell her mom she's menstruating?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Mar. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Dont tell her mom then, just make sure she has pads or tampons and knows how to take good care of herself during "that time"

    Answer by amber710 at 3:23 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • The poor girl just wants a bit of dignified privacy! This is something that you can help her with, in my opinion.

    But as for the birth control part, as a Christian, I would tell her she needs to stay away from sex before marriage to be sure she won't accidentally have a baby. Just my opinion.

    Answer by timelessglass at 11:57 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • I don't think it's wrong not to tell but I think it would upset me if I was the mom and didn't know. You may want to tell the mom in confidence and explain to her the daughter doesn't want this in the family newsletter :) Start off with "I talked with your daughter and she confided something in me but I feel you should know, however she does not want this information to be broadcast to the family so please respect her wishes and keep this matter personal." And then tell her. But make sure you tell your cousin too so she doesn't feel betrayed

    Answer by theheartbaby at 11:59 PM on Mar. 22, 2009

  • so, she has been having a cycle for 6 months and her mom doesn't know? If it were me, I think I'd not TELL her, but I would drop an obvious hint. So her mom finds out and I haven't 'told' her..LOL. Is that cheating?

    I actually think it was wrong for you to talk to her about BC. That''s her moms right/responsibility and unless you know 100% her mom is NOT talking to/going to about pregnancy, then you can, but otherwise- I'd be pretty upset if you told my daughter you'd help he get BC if she needed it.
    But then again, if it were my daughter, I'd know about her cycle and when she's menstruating. So,maybe she does need you to talk to her about, but I still think you should have talked to her mom about it first.

    Answer by Kiter at 12:01 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • i think you should try to talk to her mom with her. maybe she needs someone else to explain to her that she needs to give her daughter a little privacy?

    and kiter, i can't say this with 100% accuracy, because i don't have a teen daughter. but if it were me, and i had to choose between someone else talking to my daughter about menstruation and pregnancy prevention because she felt she couldn't talk to me...and my daughter having an unplanned pregnancy, i'd chose someone talking to her...

    plus, she didn't say she talked to her about birth control. she said she talked to her about menstruation and pregnancy, and i'm guessing that means she just made sure her cousin knew that now she was menstruating she was ovulating and could get pregnant; and if her cousin wanted she would talk to her mom WITH her about birth control.

    i think its great that your cousin can confide in you!

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 12:09 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I think you should talk to your cousin about talking to her mom about it. Tell her that you'll be there when she does and you'll explain to her about the whole privacy issue and not broadcasting it to the whole family. Sooner or later her mom is going to figure out she is menstrating. I think its best to let the mother know, but talk to her first about talking to her mom so she doesnt feel betrayed and so that you can explain to her that it would be best for her mother to know this.

    I remember when I first started my period (I was 9) I was sooooooooo embrassed. (it didnt help that the day I got it I was wearing white pants) and DID NOT want to tell my mom---I think I went like 3 days stuffing toilet paper in my panties before I finally told her. (tmi and gross I know!)

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 12:22 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • MENTAL- yes she did mention BC. she said " told her that if she needed birth control i'd be with her when she talked to her mom. "


    Answer by Kiter at 12:23 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • its metal and yeah, thats what i said. she didn't talk to her cousin ABOUT the birth control, she just said that if she needed it she would be there when she talked to her mom.

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 12:32 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • AdensMommy- I was wearing white pants, too. (off-white)

    Answer by Kiter at 12:32 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • My SD got her period right after she turned 12 - there was no way NOT to notice - I mean doesn't her Mom do laundry ever?? She probably knows and doesn't want to say anything? It is a possibility.

    I would notice fewer undies or bloody undies in the laundry and my tampon stash depleeting.

    Answer by Praying at 12:33 AM on Mar. 23, 2009