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Hello baby..goodbye friends?

I used to hang out with a group of friends every weekend, we always had the best time together and talked about how we would always be there for each other no matter what. They were all so excited for me when I found out I was going to be a mommy but then *poof* the weekend dates turned into once a month, then nothing. My baby is 9 months old and they have seen her once, and I have maybe talked to them 5 times on the phone. We send each other messages on myspace maybe once a month and they always give me the same excuse.. "been so busy, lots of stuff going on..blahblahblah" I am sorry but I am p*ssed! I want to scream at them for hurting me so badly but I can't because I have to respect their decision to not be a part of my life anymore. I have done everything short of begging to get them to visit or meet for lunch and they always say "I'll call you" and they never do. Has anyone else felt dumped by their friends? Any advice?

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Asked by LuckieLadie at 1:11 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • My "friends" are the same way.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 1:13 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Yeah Honey...I am 28 and a military wife and thats what happens. And if you find the rare one that stick around keep them...Besides you have a new BF!!! The BF you will ever have...I promise. My kids are my savior and of course i want my old friends back sometimes but look at the trade off.

    Answer by delliott13 at 1:16 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Are we talking about single gals? Or married without kids? You're suddenly in a different world from them, you know?

    It's pretty common these days for circles of friends to change completely after marriage and especially after babies.

    Time to find new friends.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:17 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Yes I feel the same. That's when you find out who your real friends are... My Hubby and I have made new friends together and they haven't been lifelong friends but for the short time they have been in our lives they have been very loyal friends... Time, marriage, and children change peoples priorities, just focus on your family and the rest will fall into place...

    Answer by 4x4mum at 1:18 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Yes, I had my first child just shy of 21, needless to say I lost most of my friends. I just joined mom groups and made some new friends and I met some really nice gals.

    Now I'm 28 and my old friends are starting to come back around, because they are just starting to have children! The problem is now I'm too busy. Karma sucks:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Oh yes I have had the same thing done to me. Its been two and a half years and nothing has changed. Me and my friends have had several conversations about it, and they end doing it over and over again. Don't worry when they have kids they will know how it feels. It sucks but that is how it goes. I say if they can't accept yur child and your life with your baby then they were never really friends to begin with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • You basically left "junior high" and jumped straight to "college" when you started a family. They haven't grown up and don't realize that mommys can multitask with the best of them. My best friend and I met when I was a freshman in high school and she was a sophomore. That was almost 17 years ago and we STILL hang out. Granted it's only a few times a year but we now both have kids, marriages, bonus kids and "STUFF" to worry about first. For the last 10 years we have kept regular dates. We go out once before the winter holidays, once sometime between April 22 and May 15 (our birthdays) and a promise of going out during the summer if we don't do something drastic to the kids.

    It's not about having MANY friends, it's about that one, maybe two friends that sticks with you. Rach and I have been to hell and back. She's the sister God didn't give me so that we would still be friends. Find that one and keep her/him.

    Answer by Gypsy98 at 11:04 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Yep, sounds normal to me. All of my friends did a disappearing act...some left when dd was born, others hung around until ds was born.

    Answer by jmsmrs at 6:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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