Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

OK MY DAUGHTER IS 13 AND EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS SO FAR THE TRUTH BUT SHE WANTS TO PICK OUT HER OWN JHS AND I THINK I SHOULD HAVE ALL THE SAY SO IN WHAT JHS SHE GOES TO NEED TO NO WHAT SHOULD I DO

SINGLE PARENT,FIRST CHILD AND SCARED

Answer Question
 
FLYGRL944

Asked by FLYGRL944 at 2:03 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Does she have good reasons for wanting to go to a certain JHS? Maybe you should look into the other place she wants to go to, it could be a good place. And if you find that this place isn't good, than tell her why. Don't just say "because I said so." Give her the exact reasons why. Not just because it's your opinion.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:07 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • dido!
    josalin

    Answer by josalin at 2:08 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I would definitely take her opinion into consideration. Her friends might be attending that school, or there could be other reasons. If both schools are the same academically, and as far as safety is concerned, then why not? But if the school she prefers is not as good as another JHS, then explain that to her and do what's best for her.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 2:18 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I fully agree with the previous posts. I'd tell her that its your decision, but ask her to presen her ideas about where she wants to go and why, and if she has good reasons, I'd weigh them heavy in the balance.

    After numerous incidents in one Jr. High with both my kids we asked what they thought would be the best alternative... and several schools/programs were options. I told them that it was our decision, but we'd be willing to listen to what they thought was best, and why. I was a bit sad they didn't ask to go to the school where they'd continue some special language course, but they had good arguments (including 'friend' argument as one of them made some poor choices of friends in the previous school) - and we did follow their requests. And we can now remind them that there are ups and downs in all choices - this is the one we ALL chose, and they have to put their best in to make it work.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 3:16 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I don't believe that parents have "all the say". I do think that while parents are the deciding factor, a child's wants should be heard and taken into consideration.

    I agree with the previous posters.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 7:56 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Why don't you both check out the schools together? This way you both get a sense of what your chosen schools are like. Normally, JHS and HS do orientations, go to them together..and decide from there..but at least do it as a team effort, this way you will both be happy.
    Adnil

    Answer by Adnil at 9:18 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies, children are people too, see her reasoning behind what school she would like to go to. If you agree with her reasoning then send her. Just make sure they are good reasons for sending her, you are the adult and she needs you to guide her in the right path, but try to do it in a gentle way. :)
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:43 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Talk to her about why she wants to go to a certain JHS, she should have some say in her education. She may have a good reason for wanting to go to a certain school. I allow my son to pick his classes, but I do have veto rights and with the classes he picked for 8th grade (next school year), I vetoed what he picked. He picked music just because it was an easy class, he had no classes that would help him learn skills to get a job or career later in life. We sat down and redid his choices and we were both happy with the decisions. Your daughter needs to be able to have a say in her education, it is her education but you also need to be able to make some decisions together.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:14 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I would listen to her reasons for wanting to do so, but ultimately YOU ARE THE PARENT and YOU make the decisions until they are adults.
    moneysaver6

    Answer by moneysaver6 at 1:30 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Do any of you have teenagers???!! This is NOT her decision. YES, I agree that she should be heard and that her thoughts and feelings be taken into consideration. She might have some good points about her reasoning, but if its actually a choice, then you need to look at test scores, student/teacher ratio, whats offered, academics, ect.....ALL of that needs to be considered. Just because a child wants to do something doesnt mean she should get to. She shouldnt have ALL the say. I think you should sit down and make the decision together and talk about all the ins and outs of it. Do your own research and then put the two opinions together. In the end....YOU have to make the final decision. WHY? Because shes a child and she thinks like a child. If you let her make the choice soley based on her own feelings and something goes wrong...guess whos to blame? YEP...YOU. Because youre the parent. YOu are responsible for her wellbeing.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:47 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN