Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I help my bf deal with not seeing his daughter?

My bf and I have been together for 14 months. The mother of his child has another child on the way and a new fiance, can some one please explain why she continues to post hateful notes online about him and me. She has kept him from his two year-old daughter for the past 8 months, she says she only wants him there financially. He was not the best father in the beginning, they are both teen parents, and he admits he was wrong for the way he handle things, but for the last year and a half he has done all that he can to be there more emotionally. He always helped with the bills. She says that she has moved on, but she contiues to dwell on the past. he has had a rough year, do the economy he lost his job and home, but is now getting back on hisfeet. She calls it karma, but I like to think of it as God making him grow-up more. Other than supporting him and encouraging him to get a lawyer, what doI do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • i think all you can realy do is be there for him and let him know your by his side nomatter what, i am goin through a simular situation my mans ex wont let him see thir son and does some of the same things u mentioned that his ex does
    mama_shauna23

    Answer by mama_shauna23 at 2:55 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • It's so diffcult. Her new attitude even has her best friend not talkin to her. She tells me to stay out of the situation, but constantly talks about me on facebook and myspace. I try not to hate her, but she makes it so hard!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I dont understand the whole she wont let me see the child so I cant spend time with my child. You beg, borrow or work2-3 jobs to get an attorney! As a mother that is what I would do! Then a judge can order her to let there be visitation and if she dosent she can be in contempt of court and possibly lose custudy. Working in the courts I have seen it happen. The only thing that is going to work with this woman is being ordered by the court. Another idea is dont look at her myspace or facebook. Dont go to her level by even looking at what she posts. If she wants to act like a 5 year old let her. She is never going to like you. Im sure you have a full life of friends and youre own stuff going on so dont even sweat her. If it were me I would help my bf save money to get an attorney. So what he may have not been good in the past even drug addicts get visitation with their children. I used to supervise visitation through the courts.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:20 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • He can EASILY go to court and DEMAND visitation rights. If he is paying child support (even if he is not) if his name is on the birth certificate, he can go to court & demand visitation rights. She will have no choice but to let him see his daughter. I know many men who have had to do this to see their child (what's the deal w/ moms who want to keep child from daddy?). It takes guts & patience but his lil girl should be worth it. It's not that hard either....i really think you should encourage him to do that if he love his daughter. You don't even need a lawyer, just go to the family place at your court & they will give you everything he needs to get this done.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:37 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I was going to recommend executing his visitation rights and if he's not going thru the courts to pay the child support he could pay again later (in our state even if you have the statements showing you paid, they can't accept that). I'd get a lawyer if I had to, go to the family courts like someone else said, I'd do something. But you just be supportive of him in whatever, however he needs it, but don't dog her, don't push him to make a decision, don't deal with her period, let him do that because if she's like a lot of women, you are the reason she doesn't want the child to spend time with him. A lot are afraid the child will like you more.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:53 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • If he gets a lawyer, make sure it's a good one. Call around and see if he can get a lawyer good in family law pro-bono...meaning you do not have to pay. Don't settle for a crappy lawyer due to money.
    steponme

    Answer by steponme at 2:11 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.