Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it me being paranoid or is there really something going on?

My husband and I hang out with a small group of friends and I have noticed that my husband is being a little more friendly with one of the girls. I thought I was just being paranoid but one of my friends told me yesterday that she has noticed the two of them being more friendly to eachother recently. My husband and his co-workers started up a softball league and he asked her to join the team, not me his wife but her. I have confronted him about this but he denies everything and says she's just a friend. I want to believe him and trust him but I have caught him in so many lies here lately that I don't think he can distinguish what is a lie and what is the truth.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Go with your gut! Sounds fishy to me.
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 10:11 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • sounds like something is up.
    cowgirlmama

    Answer by cowgirlmama at 10:13 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Actions speak louder than words IMO. If what he is saying is not lining up with what he is doing then you can bet he is lying or either in denial. I wouldn't allow anymore of this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • i would be at every practice and every game. Maybe become friends with the girl even, keep your enemies close
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:22 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Does the whole group consist of only coworkers? Are you a good softball player? Would you have someone that could babysit on practice and game days so that you could both play with no problem?
    I'm always somewhat suspicious and I can't tolerate someone lying to me so that would be sending flags to me but sometimes things aren't what they look like. I'd have myself planted right there for each of the games and practices and watch them closely and I'd also become friends with her (Keep your enemies close if possible) and if she has any kind of conscience she won't feel comfortable getting too chummy with him but you can't walk around all the time wondering... shame they don't have home lie detector kits
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:26 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Go with your gut. Tell him you are uncomfortable w/ how close he is w/ her, if that doesn't work, talk to her. It could be totally emotional, & not physical but that can still be very painful. Is SHE married? I would also suggest to get close to HER. The closer you are to her, the less comf0rtable she will be flirting w/ your husband (if that's in fact whats going on) The whole lying thing must be driving you crazy. I could not sleep at night if i found out my love has lied to me about a few things, it would make me wonder what else he has lied about. Keep your eyes open, check his email, his phone & anything else that you can. Don't seem too obvious but if it makes you feel that uncomfortable, do your research. You may find that nothing is going on, but at least you'll have peace of mind.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:26 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • If it bothers you in any way, it is a problem. As your husband, he should be willing to stay away from her for no other reason than that it causes you problems. If he is unwilling to do that, then that makes it an even bigger problem. In that case, the only think I know of that you can do about it is to not let him out of your sight. I would also ask myself if I am doing everything I can to make sure that all of his needs are being met including the physical, emotional, and psychological. If you are doing all those things, then I'd say he has a major character flaw, and that's something you cannot fix.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:34 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Tread carefully with this matter. If he starts feeling caged, or suspected, or the victim of a jealous wife, or being treated with disrespect or even distrust, then it will push him into just the kind of behavior that you want him to avoid. There's a old and not PC song that says "Wives must always be lovers, too." But it is true. If you think his eye is wandering, become, yourself, the woman he desires above all others. Outshine, out-smile, out-look, out-sparkle, out-being friendly, the other woman. If you are looming over him with anger and suspicion in your eyes, and she laughs at everything he says and if she hangs on his every word or even if she flirts with her eyes, then which woman do you think he'll want to spend time with. Don't let him see your suspicion and jealousy, let him see the woman who loves him and enjoys his friends, including this one. You love going to the games! (even if you don't, you go.)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:15 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • sounds like they like each other to me. id keep a watch on both of their asses at all times!
    MichaelsMomm122

    Answer by MichaelsMomm122 at 11:28 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • go with your gut hon. Even if NOTHING is up yet it could easily turn to that. It sounds like he is edging towards dangerous terrority & needs to STEP back right now before things go too far .
    Emotional affairs hurt just as much as physical if you ask me
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 12:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.