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My Mom...

My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship ever since I moved out and "became" a adult. She is VERY opinionated and can never be wrong...well I have my opionions also and if I voice them she views that as me being a bitch. When she tags along with me and my girls she likes to do the parenting, which for her grandchildren consist of letting them get away with everything, so when I try to talk to them about what they are doing, she hos, and hummms and says OMG if I knew you were going to be like this I would have just stayed home.....and I dont get it I am just trying to be a parent. My moms is very quick to point out the bad and has NEVER told me what a good mother I am. It's not like I NEED her to tell me..I KNOW I am a good mom, but it is just weird to me that she has never told me so. I am always giving my girls pats on the back when they do good, why is it so hard for her????????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Enjoy the aggravation, I would give anything to have an argument with my Mom..... She passed away 9 yrs ago and it still feels like yesterday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • This is her way of feeling guilty that she wasn't this way with you. Our mothers don't get that we don't have to raise our children like they raised us. Especially, if we try to be better than them!
    My mother has also never told me what a good mother I am either. She's a little envious of my life with my Dh and kids. Because she was a struggling single parent raising me and 2 brothers. She did the best she could but it wasn't easy for her. I feel like she thinks I have it easy. Not sure if this helps you understand but Good luck.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 11:43 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • My mom has a hard time seenig her grandkids being disiplined. She would make comments or try to step in. I had to tell her that she is making it hard on me. I don't like disiplining them but am for their own good. She dosen't like it still but is now respecting me as their mother. She hate's to see DH disiplining them and comments to me about it. I tell her he is their father and while I may not always agree with him in his methods that we are both learning along the way and doing the best we can for the kids.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:46 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • It's hard for some people to give praise (or affection). And grandparents seem to have blinders on to the grandkids. But in fairness when I'm out with other people I find myself being more disciplinary with the children because how they act is a reflection on my parenting skills. I know I'm not a perfect Mom and never will be but it does feel good when someone voices that you are a good one. Maybe you could use the children to teach her a lesson in manners and respect and common curtesy.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:48 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • My mom was tolerant and supportive. My MIL is the one who was critical and who encouraged (not let, ENCOURAGED, them to misbehave.) But neither of them even told me I was a good mom, so let it go. You know you are. Grit your teeth and tolerate her interference, and then when you have your daughters by yourself let them know that your way is the way it is going to be.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:53 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • so yuour looking to be told by your mom that you are a good mom...why do you need that...dont you know that you are...then thats enough...sounds like you just want attention and praise from your mom...is there a greater issue here??
    Shannon85

    Answer by Shannon85 at 12:37 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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