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Working Mom

I am a working mom...I have two girls and with both of them I stayed home about two years. My hubby works a very flexible schedule so we only use day care/ pre-k 3 days a week. They go to Pre-k and they love it, however my mom talks down to me because she feels like I should be home with them. I have a really good paying job and so does hubby..this allows us to take our kids on really fun and exciting vacations...take them places anyone would love to go. I know material things dont make up for time but I dont feel as though I am doing wrong by going to work...but she loves to try and make me feel bad. She had part time jobs when I was growing up but for the most part had to rely on my dad to give her money..my relationship is the EXACT opposite. My dh and I have a joint account and I never have to go for him for money, we both have exual access. I know it was hard for her when I was growing up......SO Y IS SHE NOT HAPPY FOR ME

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I'm guessing that in hindsight she wishes she'd have been there for you kids more than at work. She may be a little jelous too that you get to go do fun things with your kids and she didn't?
    Some women love to work whether they do it at home or if they need the money or not. Besides even tho some women don't agree with day care (it's just not for me), it's good for kids to have a lot of interaction with groups of kids to help them prepare for school and to learn their social skills.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:09 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Maybe she is a little jealous and doesn't even realize it. Most of our parents grew up under the impression that a good mother stays home. It's hard for some people to break that thinking. You are doing a good job though. I work full-time as well and wouldn't change a thing about that. My son has everything he wants and needs and won't have to pay for college. I spend every second of my time with him when I am not at work and so does my husband. Being at home with your child doesn't make a good parent. I know a lot of moms who stay home who don't really spend quality time with their child. It's like they are just both in the same house. It's sad. I have a great bond with my son and I am sure you do as well. If she says anything to you, just let it go or stand up for yourself and tell her you won't tolerate her trying to judge your parenting skills. Do what's best for you and your family!
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 12:11 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Just sit down and talk to her. No kids around. I do understand what your mother thinks, kids do need their moms more than nice vacations. Parents are kids first teachers, you teach them respect, your values, kindness and Love. As long as your girls feel that they come first you will be fine.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:12 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • If you weren't questioning your decision to work then you wouldn't have posted the question... It's obviously bothering you, maybe you need to rethink it.. Your Mom shouldn't have any say whether or not you work but if you were confident about it then no one could make you feel bad about it. JMO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Thanks everyone for your advise....
    Anon 9:27am
    I am very OK with being a working mom......however what bugs me is that my mom is very negative, NO daughter wants her mom to be this way to her. I work because I can make really good money and give my kids a really good life. I take pride in my bond with my kids I think it is great....I love my family unit. The thing that gets to me is MY MOM......why is she so negative, why is she so mean????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • It really does sound like she might be a little jealous. Maybe because you can give your child something she couldn't or didn't give you and she regrets it. My mother in law is that way with us and it really does stink but in my experience, the best thing to do it just be direct and make it stop. Tell her how it makes you feel and that you want your mother to be supportive. Be open and honest about it and tell her to stop. If she really cares, she will listen.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 2:12 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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