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He said what??

My husband informed the other day that it hurts his feelings that i dont play with myself. He said it makes his feel like i dont want him enough.
Is this normal? Does your husband like to know when you play with yourself?
I honestly havent felt the urge since he moved in with me over 3 years ago. and i just recently got my sex drive back after having my son over 2 years ago.
I didnt know what to say to him. I dont know what to do.
He said he wants to buy me toys and ... i just.. im flabbergasted.

What do i do? or say?
any advice welcomed.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Men will say that you are hurting thier feelings or physically harming them when they dont get what they want.

    It seems like a useful tool because as you can see it makes you concerned.
    You dont have to do that

    He is perfectly fine, tell him not to be selfish and be glad that you play with him...

    Answer by amber710 at 3:13 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • He should feel complimented that you don't, because that means he's doing his job!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I would simply tell him that I don't need those things, and I would refuse to participate in any of it. I personally think that in a commited marriage, there is not one thing "extra" that is needed to add one iota of joy or pleasure so the simple act of giving oneself to the other. I think he's got something else going on.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:16 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • He could just be bored with sex and wants to try new things like play with toys, try different positions, and maybe just wants to watch you masterbate. Idk why but it turns them on lol. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • i'm not really getting how you playing with yourself has anything to do with him... i'm sure there's some twisted logic in there somewhere. my hubby and i are very open and experimental so this isn't a problem for us. perhaps you can think of a way to spice things up in a way you are comfortable with.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I don't know how that would hurt his feelings! You would think it would be the opposite. However, guys are extremely turned on when women play with themselves.

    Answer by feesharose at 2:48 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • How can that hurt his feelings? Unless he wants to know because it turns him on. As for the toys, it could make the sex life better and more interesting. Guys are just such strange creatures.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:00 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I'd simply tell him that no toys could compare to him, that you're saving all of your passion for him or something like that.
    I do think htey like it tho when they know we play with ourselves, and some do like to watch but me, I'd be thinking I wasn't doing them much good if they had to do that all the time.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:02 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I think that if it doesn't personally hurt you and you can feel comfortable and enjoy yourself while doing it, then go for it. I know thats a big turn on for most guys. get an egg or little finger slip viberator, they are awsome. maybe do it alone and then in front of him.. as for saying, u dont have to like say yeah go get me toys or something. maybe just slip it out while in the act.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • stop having sex with him for a while and "Play with yourself" when he asks what's wrong tell him you took his advice and "played with yourself" and now your addicted...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Mar. 23, 2009