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Normal?

Okay, so my daughter is a mommy's girl... She loves being around me and is always playing on me etc... We have a great relationship so far (shes 11 months).

When my mom comes to visit, its totally switched. Not only does she favor my mom, but she will cry when I pick her up, or when my mom leaves the room. This really bothers me. I wish it didn't, but it REALLY does... I think it is because I dont feel that my mom was a good mother for my brother and I, and she acts like a teenager. She goes out to bars all the time and I am 99% sure she stole prescription pills from my house. She makes really bad decisions! Anyhow, what do you think I should do? I feel childish, but it hurts my feelings when my daughter favors her.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • thats kinda normal for a younger child. they do that for attention. talk to ur dd about it and talk to her grandma. tel ur dd that it makes u feel bad and shell probly understand.
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 3:54 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Thats so, so normal! I used to feel like my son liked my MIL better too. But mostly, I realized its just b/c she isn't around as much as I am and she lets him get away with more things and babys him more. I know he still loves me!

    BTW he is 2 now and he is just now starting to show me the same type of love and affection that she used to get, but if we are at her house, then he still runs to nana if he wants or needs something..LOL
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:58 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Ignore it. It will pass. You are feeling sad because your daughter seems to have switched her love, but she hasn't. The issue isn't about how good a mother your mother was or about her theft, it is only about your daughter's behavior. Enjoy your mother's pleasure at your daughter's affection for her, you know you have her real love. Let your mother have the little bit that she can enjoy.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:26 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • She senses something in your mom that's not so bad. You only see the negative about mom. Sometimes we can learn from our children. Find the good in mom and share the moment. I'm guessing she actually can sense your negative vibes when mom is around. So in essence she might be turning from your negative vibes to mom's non-negative ones. Not sure if that makes sense to you but if you can work on getting rid of your negative the little one might not turn elsewhere. Just a theory, not bashing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:39 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Thanks admckenzie. I never thought of it that way. You've certainly got me thinking. I will definitely work on it :).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • my son is 6 months old and is WILD about other kids. All he has to do is have another child-regardless of who it is- come in to his field of vision adn he is all gigles and squeals. Perhaps your daughter, like you sees the child in your mother and sees her as more of a playmate than a caregiver. Believe me if she was hurting there would be nothing your mother could do to console her. Mommy is always best. Dont be offended by it, your daughter just sees you a lot more than you rmom
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I think you said it all... she acts like a teenager
    Kids relate to other kids (even teenagers), and even tho your Mom is well past teens, she acts like one and is likely fun and the anomosity does get picked up by your baby. My oldest would scream every time my inlaws got near her when she was a baby and I still feel that it was because I didn't like them, I think she could feel it.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:32 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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