Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hello moms, welll i am n need of some real advice. my bf say that he is not cheating on me but he is never home, he come every blue moon but he swear up and down he is not doing anything. i am almost 2mths preggers and he is now saying he dont want my baby. he is doing things he wasnt in the beginning. he is buying condoms, massagers, and i found emails and text messages. what should i do? should i keep crying over him r let him go? advice plzzzzzz

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Beauty & Style

Answers (12)
  • What kinds of text messages and emails? If you have good reason to believe that he's cheating, what he does probably means more than what he says. Regardless of how else you decide to handle this, don't have unprotected sex with him while you are pregnant if you have good reason to believe he's cheating.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 4:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Let him go, you don't need that stress while you are pregnant.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 4:42 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Regardless of the texts and emails - what did you find there anyway? - the condoms and massagers are pretty solid giveaways. Like riotgrrl says, what he's doing means more than what he is saying. He is likely afraid of being a father. He is likely going through a lot right now too. Although being pregnant its hard to think that he could be going through much because pregnancy during the first few months is soooo difficult... I am certain he has a lot on his mind.

    I recommend confronting him as unemotionally as you can, knowing that he is having a difficult time dealing with this. Give him the opportunity to show that he is a good person and to be honest about whether or not he's ready to be a father. If the two of you can have a reasonable conversation there will be a good restart.

    Good luck and no matter what happens it will work out for the best!

    Answer by preggoandfat at 4:52 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like he is a real jerk that is not ready for the responsibility of being a parent. If I were in your shoes, I would not put up with this any longer. There could be a reasonable explanation for his behavior, but chances are he is nothing but an irresponsible, immature idiot. Buying condoms when you are pregnant is just the first indication he is not faithful, and any man that tells a woman that they don't want their baby is looking for a one way ticket to court for child support. Pregnancy is not a time for you to be worrying about this guy, take care of yourself and then take him "to the cleaners". DO NOT let him get away with his role in this, the least he can do is help you financially support this child.

    Answer by shanlaree at 4:53 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • You are a smart lady and you already know you need to kick him to the curb.

    Answer by pagan_mama at 4:54 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Let him go... If he doesnt come home and your finding emails and texts then he is cheating.. I have caught my husband before we were married doing the same. Even though he wasnt pyshically doing anything he was still talking dirty to other women.. And if thats all he is doing then it will probably escalate to more... If he doesnt want the baby now he probably never will...

    Answer by augusta.flores at 5:00 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • ok well i had almost the same problem except he jus didn't want nuthin to do with me. Keep calm and ask him if he really loves u if he has to think about dnt get mad wait a few then ask him again and if he says no leave da bitch and if he says yes im sure yall can work it out. dnt go straight out and leave him. o yea dnt stress either cuz its really bad for the baby

    Answer by lanlan at 6:14 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Let him go. If he doesn't want the baby then tell him fine go away and you and your baby go on and find a real man who does want you bc trust me girl there are plenty of decent men out there for you and that sweet baby of yours.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • He's just not that into you. Get your power back, dump his lying ass, and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    Answer by mehamil1 at 7:28 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Honestly, hon. I think you already know the answer. But, I have to agree with preggoandfat (you're not fat, btw). You should confront him unemotionally and I know its going to be hard. TRUST ME. If he's a true man, he will fess up to anything that is going on and you can decide from that point. If he can't fess up, well, that alone will prove he's immature.

    I know the condoms and staying out all night are damn good indicators that he's cheating because why would he need condoms if you're already pregnant? Honestly, you do know the answer already. I think what you are looking for are women to back it up and, hon, that's exactly what you're getting.

    *hugs* Take care and do what is best for that baby and for yourself. Even if it isn't him. I know from experience that the road is hard but its far better in the long run to be rid of someone like that.

    Answer by Mina2904 at 9:20 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.