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I need some help!!

For maybe the past two years my husband has been treating my 5 year old son diffrently. He is constantly teasing him, calling him names, or just flat out ignorning him. My son so despratly craves his attention but my husband never plays with him. I have to tell him, "take him with you to work", or "read him a bedtime story" just to get my husband to spend any time with him at all. We have an 8 month old daughter and he isint like that with her at all. I feel so bad for my son. Im constantly trying to make up for what his father isint giving him. Ive talked to my husband and told him what I am seeing but it dosent make a diffrence. Does anyone have any advice on what to do? My heart is seriously breaking for my son.. Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • Is he your husbands son too? If so you really need to sit and have a heart to heart with him, explain that this is a BIG deal. Maybe your husband has some unresolved issues with his father, or maybe this is the way his father treated him and he is not seeing the ramifications of his choices. I wish you the best, if nothing else maybe you should try family counseling? Good Luck!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 5:22 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • My uncle was the same way with his 2 daughters and one son. I think alot of factors come in to it, one was my uncle'swhole career was military drill sargeant so i think part of the reason he treated his son the way he did is because its how he treated all the men he trained. And i alsothink it has some to do with the way he was raised by his father. Ask him some questions abt how his dad treated him, things like that. He may just think this is the way he should treat his son to make his son grow up to be a man!
    Kbmancine

    Answer by Kbmancine at 5:25 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • There could be a lot going on here that you cannot control. I'm assuming that the five-year-old is your husband's biological child but if not, that could be part of the problem. I'm assuming that the five-year-old is typically-developing, but if not, that also could be part of the problem. There could be, in fact, a whole host of problems at the root here... but you can't fix them. As you've discovered, nagging and worrying haven't helped. So let's not do that anymore.

    Instead, be matter-of-fact about the whole thing. If this is the way things are, then that's the way they are. Be attentive to your son. Involve the whole family in things as much as you can. Five-year-olds can play card games and board games, so play with him and invite Dad to play too. Play soccer in the backyard or at the park. Do things the three of you can do together as much as you can. And don't worry about it.

    Being cheerful is important - be happy
    Dr.A

    Answer by Dr.A at 5:31 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

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