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Do I not have a right to ask this... what am I doing so wrong?

We kinda got in a fight last night and before I got off the phone, I asked for a little reassurance. I have not done this many times, just when I am feeling down and things aren't going good between us. I asked him if he loved me and gets all crappy and says "Yes!". He was all mad and said why do you ask this all the time and why does it matter. I told him that I wanted to know that his love for me was strong and asked him if it was and he said "I don't know" so I asked him how he feels when he is with me and he said that he already answered it. I said no you didn't and he said "Yes I did and if you don't like my answer, tough! Why do you have to ask me this stuff anyways, you should already know that I love you.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • You went overboard. What he heard was you going on about something he feels that he already answered. It was as good as saying to him I feel that you don't love me really so I'll feel free to play around. It seems reasonable that he would get disgusted with it being thrown in his face so much.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:41 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • You wouldn't like it either if he asked if you liked his car and you said yes, Then he said but do you really, and you said yes, again. And he then said I don't know if I believe you and you said yes I like your car why do you keep asking? And he said I want to make sure, do you really like it? And you said yes.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:43 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Ummmm, boys are stupid! I am going through the same shit...not with baby daddy, but the guy I thought I would marry. As they get older, they don't get wiser. Just an FYI. You need to figure out how you feel...not about what's gonna happen, or what's going to happen, but about how you feel about him. It may take a while of being without him to either realize you really, REALLY want him there or you are fine with you and the kiddo. I'm still in the process of deciding...we had a HUGE fight Friday night and I've not talked to him since. Just went on with the things I need to do. If a guy is talking to you like he is, then it will never change. Anyone who says people can change can bite me! It never works out like that. It's always said, but really never practiced. I say get out while the gettings good and don't look back. You will find someone who won't make you cry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I think that he just wants to know that you trust him and his love for you. If he doesnt show it too often then start showing more love towards him, and maybe it will spur him to show it more. But with him acting the way he did after you asked, it seems like he wants you to know and trust that he does love you!

    Answer by ministrymom at 10:32 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • It sucks to not be trusted and your answers not accepted. Sounds like you may have some insecurity issues that you may need to work on. Could it be you are smothering him?

    Answer by steponme at 9:42 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Oh you poor thing. The proper answer he should have given you is "of course I love you, come here and let me give you a hug." That's ridiculous that he reacted that way, there's no excuse for that. What would you have done if he asked you that? Tell him that it hurt your feelings when he did that. You are NOT wrong to ask that...his reaction to your question was wrong. If you find this happening a lot then look up emotional abuse online. Or try this link.

    I feel for you for I have had MANY similar experiences like this. **hugs**

    Answer by muddymama at 12:37 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I don't think that you are wrong to ask at all. I think men sometimes have a hard time expressing themselves verbally, especially about love and feelings. Maybe he was feeling uncomfortable with the conversation and got defensive and huffy in defense. I'm sorry that you got that response from him though. **Hugs**

    Answer by Mizzjos at 11:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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