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Should I be worried???

We are exspecting my first child, my boyfriends second. He has a three year old daughter. I guess I didn't realize before but I'm beginning to notice things about his daughters behavors that trouble me. There are things she is allowed to do and things she gets away with that I completly disagree with. (She uses the word NO and says "I don't want to" more often then not and she gets away with it) I worry that if he allows her to do these things that he will either set double standards for the kids or both of the kids would be out of control. I don't know how to make my thoughts known without steping on his feet.


Asked by hippiemom1983 at 10:13 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • Tough situation. You two should talk about what your goals are for the kids as their parent's. I know she is not your DD but you are a step parent figure. There may be differences along the way as to how you both handle situations. It's best to discuss now what you ultimately want and get into the ways of handling the situations from there.
    Good luck!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:24 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Part of the 3 yr old saying things like that is normal, a 3 yr old is learning to be independent but she shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. It could also be how her mother is raising her. It may be different with your child. You need to talk to your SO about how you would like to raise your child.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:21 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Developmentally it's normal for her to assert herself and say no. Anyway doesnt she have any rights? She can't say when she doesnt like something?


    Answer by dreyamom at 10:25 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • yeah, i dont see what is wrong with her saying no or i don't want to. but there are many situations where you still make her do whatever it is that you need her to do. as a step parent you need to be involved in her parenting and this needs to be discussed with your SO. especially since you are expecting. i understand the concern. i have had concerns about my SKs influences on my daughter. especially my SD. she has more of an attitude and such - plus she is 8 years older than my daughter. however, as long as you and your SO get on the same page about things, it will be okay. also at 3 she is young enough that your influence will have a larger impact on who she is and how she behaves than if she were older. do not let her walk all over you. there is a large difference in how my SS reacts and is with me than my SD. He was 3 when i became involved and she was 6 almost 7. I love them both. but I am closer with SS

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:17 PM on Mar. 23, 2009