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My question is, what do you do when you can't get turned on by your man anymore?

Okay first off, I am bi and I am in a straight relationship of 3 years. We have a 14 month old son.
We have never had great sex, but it has been okay a few times over our relationship. But lately, I struggle to even get turned on by him or his occasional foreplay. The sex isn't good, and I am not happy. I want to stay with him, but I can't give up good sex. What do I do?
Do I leave him? Is there a class we can take that will fix it? I am at my wits end here ladies.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Where do you live? Depending on if you live near a city or liberal area there are mos def classes.

    Also, how does he feel about the sex life?

    Answer by preggoandfat at 11:06 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Figure out whats wrong. Is it rhythm? Take a sexy dance class like Salsa. Is it technique? Read some books. Boredom? Learn some new positions thru Kuma Sutra. Role play. Are you really bi or just scared to be a lesbian? Thats a whole other decison.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:12 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • It's all in your head. You have to fake it till you actually begin to believe it again. You have to psyche yourself out. That's part of the hard work of being married. :) I know it stinks! No one tells you this stuff before you get married...

    Answer by ericadrian at 11:12 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Perhaps you could shake things up. Add a third person. Use toys. make a blue movie(for your own personal gain, not the internet haha)
    But talk to him too. Ask him how he feels about your sex life.

    Answer by mum-to-be-at-18 at 12:03 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Am in the same boat, so not sure on what to tell you. Hope it gets better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • MamaChamp did you serioulsy just ask if he was scared to be a lesbian? wtf kind of question is that? i'm bi... does that mean i'm scared to? um no that means i like both sexes thanks... anyways back to the question since you are bi maybe try to spice up the sex life a bit, hubby and i went through this so we brought someone else into the bedroom with us it helped me to see him pleasing another woman, it made me get turned on by him lol... you can pm me if you need to talk more about it!!!

    Answer by chloeconnor at 1:06 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • thats how i feel about my hubby most of the time but i figure i love him and i didn't marry hiom for the sex. so i have stuck it out and i have gotten to where i can actually enjoy it a bit more. it has also seemed the more we have done it the more i'm starting to want. it is part of psyching yourself out. if you dwell on how mad it is it just gets worse. i don't see what you having to be bi has anything to do with you wanting the sex to be better and you wanting to be with the man you love. in a relationship you sacrifice things maybe this is yours but if thats to big of a sacrifice then i say leave him or go get sex therapy. you know it could be something wrong with you not what he does. mental block or he has hurt you to much to let yourself feel. i would at least try that first. you do have a baby together. not a good idea to bring another person into the bedroom. he may just think she is better then you. then your alone.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:52 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • i mean how bad it is. too many typos

    Answer by melody77 at 1:53 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • threesomes are a fantasy and should stay that way...

    Answer by ericadrian at 3:33 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I'm with Mum To Be 18, if you both agree of course and you know someone that is willing - then go for a 3some. They are so much fun. I'd start with getting to know the girl and see what she likes and make sure you both click, then surprise your hubby OR host a CO-ED Adult Party and see how many couples or "Girlfriends" show up to play.


    Then you should invest in a replacement hubby. They never need to be told what to do, there always ready when you are and the only thing you need to do is replace the batteries when they go dead. Maybe introduce your hubby to one (my hubby enjoys them every now and then) and maybe he'll jump in and help you with it (oral sex with a toy - AWESOME). If you would like to know what all TYPES of TOYS are out there let me know and I'll give you my website and you can browser. If you order shipping is discret so no one will know what you ordered.

    Answer by Mysty75 at 2:53 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

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