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My Divorce theory..

.. So this is just my theory and I want to get some feed back and see if others agree.
I'm sure everyone has noticed the statistics on divorce nowadays compared to lets say, our grandparents.
Many, many more people are getting divorced now than back then.
I've noticed this trend here on CM where women say how "wrong" it is to "stay together for the kids" So we have an alarming rate of divorcees.
Do you think this mind set of more and more couples thinking it's wrong to stay together for the kids could be a factor in the high divorce rate?
I personally think it IS a good idea to stay together for the kids (to a point, as long as the marriage isn't an abusive one, things like that), where as I have read many times women thinking that it is wrong.
Do you think our grandparents sucked it up and stayed together for our parents? Do you think couples now are too quick to give up on their marriages and not stick it out?

Answer Question
 
AriMicSun

Asked by AriMicSun at 11:27 PM on Mar. 23, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think our grandparents did suck it up for the kids, but back then it wasnt as common for women to strike out on their own, get an education, a job and take care of the kids and the bills. We have more opportunities now than they did then. I disagree with you about staying for the kids though. My parents "stayed for the kids" and it was hell for all of us. Things got so much better when my dad left. I do think that people are too quick to give up though, and the ones that are sticking out for the kids arent necessarily working on their marriages. They are just tolerating each other for the sake of the children.

    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 11:33 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • Honestly, I have to admit that I'm in this marriage now partly because of our one kid together. We're happy now, but at one point when divorce seemed to be the only way for me since I didn't think I could forgive him, I stayed for our son. I think it was the right decision because right now, I'm happy to be married to him and I'm glad I stayed. I guess if you live the rest of your life together just for your kids and you're truly unhappy every day of your life, then that would be wrong.
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 11:34 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I completely agree. If there is no abuse or affairs going on then stay together. I think alot of it too is that people see how easy it is to get divorced and so they dont take it so seriously, it is no longer till death do you part, but only untill you can afford an attorney and get out with all youcan. Why take it seriously if you know you dont have to. I know a law was passed here not to long ago that if you had kids and there was no abuse you had to go to I think 6 months of marital counseling before your divorce could be granted. I love that law. Alot of marriages have trouble, but that doesnt mean leave, it means you work on it and see if you can fix the problem. But kids are being raised to that they dont have to be responsible for their actions all the time so can we really blame them for jumping in to a decision like that? Sorry you just hit on one of my pet peeves..lol
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 11:34 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I am so glad that my parents got a divorce, when they were together it was hell. Although it was hard, it would have been much much harder if they had stayed together
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 11:37 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • My mom stuck it out for 20 years, it wasn't that great for us, but it wasnt' bad. As a kid, you never know how bad it really is with your parents. I wish my mom didn't feel like she wasted 20 years of her life, but I'm glad I lived in a stable home. They didn't fight, it felt alright to me. No shouting or hitting.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Mar. 23, 2009

  • I was raised with both parents and they "parted" when my dad died. I on the other hand am divorced and my ex sees my son like once a year if that.
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 12:04 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • i have to agree with AK Aries...people just don't see divorce as lasting, and that is a problem. i think pre-marital counseling should be a requirement. people don't understand sometimes marriage is work. sometimes it's hard. it's not all rainbows, butterflies and moonlit walks on the beach. unless their is unfaithfulness or abuse then you should make it work. and sometimes, even the unforgivable can be forgiven and worked past (except abuse)
    mommashaybay

    Answer by mommashaybay at 12:31 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I agree and disagree. I myself am getting divorced. we arent fighting. I tried to offer marriage counseling because i do still believe in "death do ye part" but he refused.to go and said thathe didnt love me anymore. its hard to try to make a marriage work when the oppisite person doesnt wantt o make it work. i came from a broken home but i also saw my mom get hit and heard mydad screaming at her everynight. i hope one day that i will find the one person who does take marriage seriously and doesnt just giveup when his feelings drop because he was mad the dishes werent done. some of us still believe in our vows. on the other hand if you both are willing to work it out i believe you should, make it work for not onlyyourself butfor your kids. these are hard times to deal with with only one parent.but i will do it and do it with pride because i didnt give up im still fighting for mymarriage to the day those papers are signed
    blairsmommy

    Answer by blairsmommy at 12:49 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Nope. I think that our grandmothers didn't know anything else, and took whatever was doled out to them if the marriages were bad. I know my dad saw that happen with some of my aunts...they had no idea how to care for themselves so they took things that they never should have taken and never would have had they been able to stand up for themselves.

    My mom's parents insisted that their daughters be able to support themselves because of seeing things like that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:54 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

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