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Molested by brother (part 3)

The mom knows he did this & told me she believes her daughter but, she also said she will never turn him in to police. I am not a relative of the 12 yr old so @ any time Mom can pick her up from my home. I think the only reason she has let her stay with me is because she is scared I'll call authorities on her & I'm sick about everything as well as being confused. I don't want to see 12 yr old in foster home & that's where she's going because the mom has neglected to seek help for either child. Mom has also told 12yr old not to talk about anything with me anymore or she's taking her home. So all in all the blame is landing on 12 yr old for telling me & her family seems to think I'm the one that's gonna tear up there family if i tell, which we all know is bull crap, I didn't do shit wrong nor did 12 yr old. Help!! I'm trying to understand Moms crisis, but what about the 12yr old victim?? & the others/ WHAT DO I DO????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on Mar. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • This 17 year old has already molested three girls?
    He needs to be stopped.
    just imagine what he will be like in another 10 years time, when he has had a decade of practice!
    You have a responsibility to not only the 12 year old at your house, but to the hundreds of girls he WILL continue to molest int he future.
    Molesting children is not like any other crime, where extenuating circumstances may make a person act in a way they would never normally, they are sick, twisted individuals who need to be taken out of society.
    As long as you dont report this person, he will get bolder and bolder, and continue to ruin other children's lives.
    You are worried about he other mother? No one ever wants to believe their child has done something like this, i can understand her wanting to pretend like nothing has happened, but for everyone's sake, he needs to be stopped. I couldnt live with myself, knowing i could have stopped this.
    katiemum

    Answer by katiemum at 5:16 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • report him, for her sake. Do it for every little girl who told and wasnt believed, for every little giel who had to live their whole life feeling like no one wanted to help...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • The victim will not be removed from the home. It will be the brother that is removed. The reason the mother isn't doing anything about it is because she feels it's her duty to protect her son from society. She also doesn't want to face the shame and judgement that will follow when it all comes out. You are not doing the 12 year old or her sister's any favors by not reporting it. The brother needs some serious help NOW. He's already showing signs of being a sexual predator. Would this family rather the boy get the help he needs now or end up in prison in the near future?

    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 7:32 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Wow, I know youre torn about this and I can see what your saying about wanting to protect the child. I have a feeling that they will likely remove the boy from the home and possible the girls too, but its possible that they might let the girls stay with the mother. While this mother is protecting her son, shes endangering the other girls in the home as well as any friends that might come over and anyone else he comes in contact with. So shes gotta to make a choice...do you protect all those little girls or do you protect ONE son? Obviously shes not doing the right thing. I would sit down and talk to the girl about what you have to do because you are obligated to not only protect HER but everyone else too. She can't stay with you forever and this will end sometime. Maybe since shes been with you they will allow her to stay with you or if she doesnt get removed from the home, the mother will let her. You need to tell. NOW!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:35 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • you show alot of concern yet you haven't called the cops? Who cares what promise you made to the 12 yo. You know it's happening and will not do anything about it. This in my eyes makes you as guilty as him. He's done it to at least 3 girls you know of. How many more? Or are you going to wait until he actually rapes one before you step in?
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 8:46 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • sorry I sound so harsh but you have the ability to put a stop to him and you hesitate. Please you know what you have to do and what is right. Please don't let him get away with this any longer.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:00 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • They can do a criminal test on you, & you can be her foster parent. Usually, the authorities will first choose a family, or friend which the child can stay with. They will do a background check on you, & if you qualify you can be her guardian. All you have to do is go to the authority's, tell them what is going on, & that you would like to take care of her since you already have been. This is how it works in MA, i was in a few foster homes growing up & that is the first thing they did, they tried to find a close relative or family friend before they put me w/ a strange family (which eventually happened, but it was a GREAT experience, i was blessed to have an awesome foster family)

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:27 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • You said in a previous post that the mother also has an 8 year old daughter, think about her also. She might be having the same thing happening and be too afraid to tell. If he keeps molesting girls and he doesn't get the help he needs he may get bolder and at some point escalate into something more than just touching, he might rape someone. I hope that you do turn him in. I know that you want to do the right thing and if you lose a friend over it then so be it. But you will also have helped other girls from being future victims of his. Please do the right thing and turn him into the authorities. Be brave! On a side note, bless you for taking that little girl into your home to keep her out of harms way for now. Also at some point she will need to get some counseling, she may not want it but it will help her later on down the road.
    foxy400ex

    Answer by foxy400ex at 11:25 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Honestly I am sick about this and didnt even take the time to read other responses so I hope I am not repeating anyone (actually hopefully other people are saying the same thing so whatever)

    Call an attorney and annonimously see if there is a way that you can get emergency custody of this little girl. Make her feel safe, and that her mom or her brother cant and wont do anything else to hurt her. The only way she is going to tell anyone about it but you is if she feels safe, and THANK GOD she trusted you enough to come to you in the first place. They will call it foster care, but she will be with you and not with a stranger. Then call the cops on the little prick! Have her make a statement to the police, abut request that an officer come to your house to do it so it is less intimidating. Keep her away from the mom as much as possible she is scaring her into backing down...you have to do something
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • My step mom had a friends of hers kids for 3 years when something similar to this happened. So be prepared but it will be best for her in the long run. See how the mom has already brainwashed the 15 yo, it's no big deal, yeah right! Dont let her go home and if the mom does come to get her you call the damn cops IMMEDIATELY! I dont care if the girl will lie to them or not they have to have this on record. Bottom line make her feel safe enough to come out with this, get custody (however temporary) of her, file a report and get her some help, she doesnt want this to happen to anyone else does she? That poor girl, show her how a real family is, love her and make her feel empowered to do the right thing.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:04 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

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