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Did anyone else feel abandoned by your friends after your baby was born?

Once I had my son, my friends seemed to disappear, except for my best friend. All of my other friends never called and never wanted to hang out. Most of them don't have kids but they love kids on the other hand. I felt alone and hurt because my friends and I have always been so close. Like we were growing apart. I just wanted to know if anyone else had this happen and felt the same way.

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foxy400ex

Asked by foxy400ex at 11:56 AM on Mar. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I am in my 30s so most of my friends were having kids right along with me. As you grow up you find many friends you had in high school you out grow. I have only 3 close friends but those 3 friends and I are a tight group and would do anything for each other. I had dozens of friends in school I hung out with saw most daily but we changed and are all different people. If you have one close friend you are lucky.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • MINE DID, I HAD MY DD AT 19....MY NOW HUSBAND AND I WERE INTO THE WHOLE PARTY SCENE, SMOKED WEED, DRANK DID OTHER STUPID THINGS ON A DAILY BASIS.I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY DD AND STOPPED ALL THAT STUPID STUFF, AND THEY WERE ALL THERE WHILE I WAS PREGNANT, BUT AS SOON AS I HAD HER THEY ALL WENT AWAY. EVEN MY BF, THE ONLY ONE WHO STUCK AROUND WAS MY HUSBAND BEST FRIEND, WHICH I THOUGHT WE DIDNT REALLY GET ALONG TOO WELL, BUT NOW HES MY BEST FRIEND AND WE TALK DAILY.....SHOWS WHO YOURE TRUE FRIENDS ARE. BUT I WAS ALSO SUPER CLOSE WITH FAMILY.....SO I WASNT SO ALONE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • They didn't but I did. I just had a hard time relating to my childless friends snd honestly didn't want to be bothered.
    Pauline3283

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 12:58 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Sadly enough yeah...my best friend of 10 yrs has just taken herself out of my life since I had a baby...she was my only good friend outside of my hubby! But the bad part was she had 3 kids, so I thought the process would draw us closer together!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • i lost MANY of my friends! my best friend who already has 2 kids moved. my other friends were partiers and since I dont go out anymore i guess i'm not "cool enough" for them. It hurts still! I have managed to attend library playgroups. I've met many hip mamas with babies my son's age. I dont hang out with them outside the playgroup setting....yet, but i'm satisfied for now! same thing with my SO. he doesnt hang ot with his friends anymore unless they need help with their car (he's a mechanic). he feels used sometimes
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I don't know it's so much that my friends deserted me or that I just didn't have time. I had a colicky baby for awhile, I didn't go back to work, I couldn't get out of the house. Friends would call and I just wouldn't have time or the energy to talk. Now, I have a few good friends and that is enough right now. My DD is 2 yrs. old and as she is getting older, I am meeting other mothers, but I also don't hang out with them outside of playgroup. As a SAHM, I just don't have the opportunity to socialize much anymore. You can't expect people to be your friend when you don't make the effort and that's what happened in my case.
    Mizzjos

    Answer by Mizzjos at 11:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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