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How much more can one take?

in a marriage where I try to make things right and get things done for the family, but its only being done on my part..so I dismiss my husband over and over cause he's busy with his own work..should I expect him to be active in family life or just accept and be glad he's working and that's good enough? But he doesn't even know what's going on in his own kid's life

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • That is really up to you. Can you live with it this way once you concede that you're the real family person while he brings home the cash? Many men are like this. My SO happens to really be helpful but he works nights so he's home to do it. You should go on your gut with this. What is your tolerance for it, do you love him, etc. Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:10 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Family is the number one priority...period!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I wouldn't be able to take a lot of that I would have to get out. sorry I hope something works out for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I am in the same boat. My SO makes the most money in our relationship, he's very old-fashioned and believes completely different than I do. I do work full-time too and still do all the other duties as a SO and mother by myself. I think if you can handle it great, if you need help ask for it. and if it's refused then you need to find another way. My So is there when it really counts. Like when my son was hospitalized with his appendicitis. My So took full charge while I stayed in the hospital. He came up and made sure we were ok as well. Find his strong points if he has one and let him know you recognize this and then talk to him about needing him to help out.
    MAMAMISTY33

    Answer by MAMAMISTY33 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • If it's already bothering you, those feelings can lead to bitterness if you don't address them. Try to tell him in a non-confrontational way that you need more help. If he's unsupportive, angry or shows no compassion, then you know you have a problem. Most men are more than willing to help out though if asked nicely.
    HarleyQ

    Answer by HarleyQ at 1:58 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Noone ever layed on their death bed and wished they had worked more..
    Family is a team effort and requires teamwork...
    Help your husband understand that and let him know that you all need him...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I have the same thing going on, at least it sounds like the same. My dh works hard and usually long hours.
    Most of the time I feel like he thinks his only job is bringing home money. That when he walks through the door at night he is done for the day.
    I wish I could clock out too. When he's home I will tell the kids to go to him for their issues if I'm busy or even if I'm not. Then he always helps but I feel like I have to remind him to parent our kids, or help in the house..etc.
    Yea I know he makes all the money, but my job is 24/7.
    I keep it up because I truly love him and we are each doing our parts for the healthy development of our family. And our goals are the same.
    I just get frustrated at having to ask or yell for help. So I guess it depends on how much can you take. You are not alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

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