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can't change her mind

I have a friend since I've known since a child. the only time she was ever in a church was for my wedding. I've talked to her about God ever since we were young, she stays firm though. She has never cracked. She will not ever believe. I guess you can't force that upon someone. But she is my best friend, isn't there anything that could change her?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • "She isn't trying to "change her" you guys. She cares about her friend and she wants her to find Jesus."

    Being a non-believer is part of who she is. By trying to get someone to believe, that is changing a person. She is asking her friend to believe in a different way of thinking and in some cases a different way of life in general. That would change the person she is now.

    Answer by ShutterBug77 at 1:42 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • probably not, don't force her or anything. You can pray for her for God to soften her heart and open her mind.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Plant the seeds and leave her alone. Let God change her, if she will allow it.

    Answer by Lexylex at 1:27 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Why would you want to change her?? Then she would no longer be the friend you have loved for so long. Are you one of those women who marry a guy hoping he'll change after the wedding and THEN he'll be perfect? Accept her (and others) for the people they are. Has she been trying to change your mind this whole time? Are you threatened by her steadfastness in her belief? I have to say- I personally would not still be your friend if you had been doing this to me!!

    Answer by mtnmama111 at 1:27 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Maybe she can change YOU.

    Answer by IhartU at 1:32 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • If you value your friendship with her, you need to respect her choices/beliefs. You cannot change her. The change needs to come from her. If she does not believe, really the only thing that can or will change her would be divine intervention. I'm a non-believer and it doesn't matter how many friends/family try and preach to me or 'save' me it would literally take a miracle for me to change my mind. In the mean time, my friends/family are only causing me to resent them and their respective religions by not respecting my belief or lack thereof. I don't try and 'convert' anyone to atheism. I respect other people's choices so I in turn require the same respect. Value her friendship for what it is, value her for the person she is, focus on what she as a friend brings into your life and leave religion at the door.

    Answer by ShutterBug77 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Just be thankful that even after all the time that you've spent trying to change her, she's still your friend. I agree with mtnmama, I would not be your friend either if you had been doing this with me. I do not believe in God either, and I do not feel guilty about it and I don't appreciate others trying to change my mind on something that is none of their business.
    Note: I am posting this as anonymous so I don't get bombarded with the normal 'you need to be saved' stuff. It's my soul, I'll do with it what I please.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Never give up hope, but I agree with Lexylex, you might need to leave her alone a little. Otherwise she will just tune you out and start avoiding you. Pray for her and let God open doors for you to be a light to her. But also, if I were you I would fast for her and pray. If you are in a Bible study at church ask your group to pray for her with you. Prayer is sooooo powerful. Don't give up hope, you might be the only one praying for her.

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 1:34 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I agree with lexylex. Plus you are best friends for a reason right? Don't try to change her. If she wants to believe one day then she will.

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 1:35 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I was thinking the same thing IhartU. Maybe your friend should actively try to deconvert you and convince you that atheism is the way to go and that god isn't real. How would that make you feel?

    I'm surprised she's still your friend if you keep pestering her about it. I know I would distance myself from my "friends" if they couldn't accept that I was an atheist and bothered me about it all the time.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:35 PM on Mar. 24, 2009