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Borrowing money from family?

Ok, sticky question.If you ask a family to borrow money say like @200.00, and you told them what it was for. Car insurance and cell phone to be exact. I gave her a check to put through on friday because i get paid. Anyways, if you told them what it was for, do you think it is okay for them to call another family member (one who works at the bank where you bank) and ask them if your account was overdrawn, or if it was going to be overdrawn. And where have you been writing checks too? The person that works at the bank didn't tell them anything because it is against bank policy, but she did call me and tell me that the other faimily member was fishing for information. In the end i ended up giving the money back, and told her that i was able to get the money elsewhere and didnt need to borrow it any longer. I would rather just deal with overdrafts that a family member doing that. Who was right and who was wrong?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (9)
  • You were right on that one. Esp if you were honest and up front about what the monies were for. Pretty tacky for that person to go behind your back and go fishing for your personal business. Sorry that happened.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:41 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • They were wrong but I would never lend money to family unless I knew their financial situation fully. If they are way behind I will know I am never seeing my money again. I actually never give family money but will pay a bill if they give it to me. I have been burned too many times to give a check to anyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I'd be so pissed ! That's a no-no.... family or not. I don't know that I would have given the money back and faced bad checks for the principle of it all.... but you were right for being upset that a family member took this much liberty. Lesson learned, right?
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:45 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I only loan money to people I know will pay it back and I trust aren't spending it on ridiculous stuff. I only ask to borrow money from my sister or my mother, because I know they won't hold it over my head later. Once, my husbands cousin took us out for dinner. We offered to pay, but he took the check and kind of blew it off. Like 2 months later, we get a call from him asking us if we are ever gonna pay back the money he spent on dinner that night. Seriously???!!?? We gave him the money just to stop the whole thing from becoming drama in the family. The cousin told his and DHs parents about it and everything. But said that we asked him out and then made him pay. Not entirely accurate. I guess he did this to my inlaws and my sister in law too.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • They were wrong. Isn't that illegal for them to do that.


    I do not let people borrow money fro me.I try not to borrow from them.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:02 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Ok, let me rehrase the question. I guess i didn't borrow it from her . It was a loan. I gave her a check to deposit on firday to pay her back. I guess it wasn't borrowing.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • okay I'm going to play devil's advocate here a second. One one hand I believe she was right in asking where you were going to spend the money. I have let someone borrow money for grocheries and ended up going out to dinner and a movie on my bucks. So I guess I can see where this is okay.......(just the asking part only)

    Now I'm done with that. I don't believe she had any right questioning the bank for youre information. Or a family member. If she had a problem with giving you the money than she should of just said sorry I can't. And left it at that. Yes I do believe it was illegal.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 4:09 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • When lending to anyone, it's probably better to understand that you may very well be giving it to them, because if they need to lend, it might not be getting better very soon.

    As for borrowing and the person doing all kind of research behind your back...doesn't sound like a person who can handle helping out with a loan. Your situation would be really hard, but I think you handled it well. Sad that family ever lets money affect relationship, isn't it?
    TeaAnderson

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 5:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Loaning, borrowing, or lending to me is the same thing.. (Weather I am receiving or giving). I do not like to do them. Like my DH says. If family is asking for money(small amounts) do not expect it back.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:45 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

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