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jealous? who me?

My husband and i have a mutual friend. As of recently I have noticed I am feeling left out and a little jealous of the attention he giver her when she is around. I am not the only one to make comments about them. Her boyfriend has and so does her father. He and I have discussed this situation. How I feel about all of it. I trust him. He has the integraty that he would leave before he would cheat. I have no doubt of this. But I have 2 questions I guess. I get knots in my stomach when ever she is mentioned or calls. A physical reaction, even when we see her. Is this wrong? The other is we have decided to not be friends with her. Myhusband and i have discussed that we (us and her and her boyfriend) all are not on the same page morally and ethically.(We both have kids) So we decided to end the friend ship. But dont know how. Cause I will not tell her this reason. Just cant. So the 2cnd question is how would u end the frndshp?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • To be completely honest I don't think their is a "nice" way to end a friendship. Either way somebody will get hurt/pissed. If you really don't wanna be friends with them then maybe you should just avoid them..if they come to your house don't answer the door even if they know you're there maybe then they will get the hints. I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by TaterNJo0sMommy at 4:11 PM on Mar. 24, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Boys and girls should not be friends after marriage. It can not work. Sex or sexual feelings screw it up and make it not okay.

    You need to talk to her about what she is doing, and how it makes you feel (you can't speak for anyone else). You cannot just ignore her and hope it just stops.

    Answer by asTraySoJouRner at 4:13 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • If he is giving her attention that makes you physically react with feelings of discomfort, and it has been noticed by other people as well, that how could you be wrong for feeling that way? It doesn't mean he necessarily did anything wrong, but that there is something wrong with the situation. I think you are right for ending the relationship. Do you have to actually announce the end of the relationship? How often do you see these people? Couldn't you just be "busy" every time they ask you to do something, and just let it fade away? Do you feel the need to confront them or could you just let it end without a lot of discussion? I am curious about the moral/ethical thing....but I guess it doesn't matter if you have chosen to end the friendship anyway. Am I missing something about this situation that requires you to tell her you are ending it? If you just stop calling and accepting invitations, wouldn't the friendship fade?

    Answer by BJoan at 4:16 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I have to agree with TaterNJoOsMommy...Just avoid them...If you don't want to make it look so obvious start planning stuff with you and your family and make yourselves not so available things change and now it the time for you.  Can you remember the past how you and your friends use to do things and now those days are gone same thing with your situation just take it day by day and before you know they are in the past as well.

    Oh and I don't blame you one bit on how this makes you feel you are just feeling normal there is something about her that makes you feel uncomfortable or not feel easy. The best thing is break it off completely. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 4:17 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I agree you should break off the friendship. Too many things could happen and you need to guard your relationship. I would tell her you guys are taking a break for now, that it is nothing personal you just want to spend time with eachother and take a break from the friendship. If she gets mad so be aren't responsible for her reaction.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:20 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Just ignore the calls, ignore them when they come over. Don't answer the door.
    You could even change your number.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • The plan is to just let it fade. But we both feel bad and hate lying. We do NOT have to tell her we are ending it, it is just we were friends and hate lying but that is the plan and hope she gets the hint. It is not the best thing to do but that is what we are doing. It is not so much her doing anything, it is the attention she is getting. As for the moral/ethic thing, she was with a married man before at the same time she was with someone else. She has lied to us about things. Nothing against anyone but smoking other things besides cigarets especialy with your children in the house not somehting i agree with. I just feel like my husband is mad at me for this and he thinks I am now this overly jealous person. Im not Its Just something about her does not sit right with me. I worry what my husband thinks of me now. I dont get that he thinks the same of me but differntly ina bad way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Try not to make a big deal about it with your don't discuss it all the time, just go on with your happy self and mayb have a few special nights and focus on eachother...

    Answer by ria7 at 5:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I'm one for honesty. Sorry, but she deserves the truth not a lie.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

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