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Little boy with identity crisis?

A friend of mine has two boys, we'll call them Joe and Chris. Chris for about four years is really into wearing girls clothes(not in public), girls toys, jewelry, make up, even has a few barbies. Joe gets praised for being more manly because he enjoys fishing, hunting, and "boy" stuff. Chris likes some boy stuff too, and outside of it he seems like a normal boy. He is now eight years old and his own parents have even made comments like"my little gay boy" or "sissy" to make him stop liking the girl stuff. Why do you think Chris is so into the girl stuff? He really doesn't seek his parent's approval, but the other boy does.

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Steff107

Asked by Steff107 at 4:49 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • That is so sad that they call him their gay boy & sissy. They are going to give him a complex, & he is going to feel inseure since his brother is getting all the praises. They need to accept him & love him the way he is, otherwise he is going to have other problems when he gets older.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:54 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Maybe he feels like a girl on the inside. That's what most transgendered people say. It's awful that his parents say things like that to him... he must feel so out of place & confused already w/o all that.

    He is how he is. Hopefully his parents can accept and support that.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 4:54 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I dont know but from what everyone who has talked about ever having a sex change they all say the same thing...that deep down inside they just have never felt right about the gender they previously were. It is very SAD because he is only doing what comes natural to him and it must not be a good feeling to have your own parents call you names.

    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 4:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • He might be trying to tick his parents off, wanting to be noticed for being different, or has gender confusion.

    If Chris isn't happy doing this stuff, but can't seem to kick the habit, it's a problem and he needs to be seen by a therapist.


    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 5:00 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • He's been getting better, but I'm not so sure it's a gender issue as it may be an attention issue. Still very much interested in outside input.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 5:03 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • its weird but i have one 10 year old boy and a 8 year old boy and a 7 year old girl.

    my 10 year old boy doesnt have anything to do with dressing up as a girl but my 8 year old does dress up like a girl only because my 7 year old daughter likes to play dress up with the closest sibling to her age. she has no one to dress up with but they both like to dress up.

    it could simply just be that chris is imatating his mother or something on that order, yet they know better but its fun to explore around.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Could it be that he is trying to be as different from his brother as possible? In any case, I am sure the parents behavior is not helping the situation or Chris's self esteem.
    marbear98

    Answer by marbear98 at 8:49 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Well, when I was a kid I preferred to dress like a boy and had more GI Joes the I had Barbies. No one ever accused me of being a lesbian. I was a tomboy. I never got why it is okay for a girl to be boyish but not the other way around.
    One of my friends growing up was very effeminate. He didn't dress like a girl but he ran like a girl, loved girly stuff, played Barbies with us all the time, etc. We did tease him a little about being gay but we never did it to be hurtful.
    He's an adult now and is NOT gay and never was. He's been in a relationship with the same girl for like 10 years and they live together. Some boys just like girl stuff, just like some girls just like boy stuff. I would have been devastated if my parents said I couldn't wear what I liked and play with the toys I wanted.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:43 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I say leave him be and see what comes of it... if anything...Just as justanotherjen said.. Some boys just like girl things... I was the biggest tomboy ever, played cars with the boys, ran over my barbies heads, went fishing all that stuff... I turned out just fine with 3 kids of my own... I say that whoever he may be as an adult, he needs to be nourished now, and praised for who he is as he is... Maybe one day he will just be a super wonderful nurturing dad!!
    briwillansmom

    Answer by briwillansmom at 5:46 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • The only identity crisis is with the parents and who they want him to be.... maybe praising him and joining in the fun with him will make it less appealing as it is no longer an attention getter... kids crave attention, and bad attention is better then none:)
    briwillansmom

    Answer by briwillansmom at 5:49 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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