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What would you do? Need Advice....

What if your husband came to you and said that he had a STD? He never told you anything in the begining when you started datting. But now your married? I Love my husband very much! I am Scared,Confused. I dont believe in divorce, I believe a marriage is forever. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • GO GET YOURSELF TESTED FIRST AND FOREMOST.. . THEN TALK....I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CAN DO, BUT YOU DEFINATELY WANT TO GET TESTED AND TREATMENT IF YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I would ask when he acquired this STD. If it was while we were married, I would say ADIOS SUCKA! If he acquired it before you were married, then he also failed to share that information with you.. so now you have to make a choice because he is now a liar. How can you trust him now? If you don't believe in divorce, well then, you are stuck. It's your life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I hate to ask the obvious, but does this mean he's been cheating, or has he had this the whole time and never told you? Get medical attention, then talk.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 5:09 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I think it depends on the circumstances.

    If he just found out (some people can have an STD for years and not know), get tested, get info and try not to let it get to you too much. We all have a past.

    If he knew and just didn't tell you, then you need to decide if it is something you can forgive. If so, get tested, get info and learn how to live with it. If you can't forgive, then you need to let him know and move on. He's broken your trust and he'll have to figure out how to earn it back.

    If he got it since you've been married by cheating (not sure if there would be any other way), then you either leave or get counseling.

    In any case, you need to be tested and learn about the disease so you can take care of yourself.
    marywilliams

    Answer by marywilliams at 5:32 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • wow! but that is a very important piece of information that you needed to know from the get go, if my SO would have done that to me I would have been felt betrayed and like he had broken the wedding vows but that's just me, cause my husband did held information from me, he did not tell me that he had kids... and we had stated that if either one of us did we would not get married but he told me once I was pregnant and that was hard to hear I am so sorry don't hesitate and get all the test you need take care of yourself good luck to you

    yoli42

    Answer by yoli42 at 5:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Get tested. Get treated if necessary, Have a long talk about how long he has had this. If you can work it out between you then good. If not then it is time for some counseling. If it is something he had before your marriage, it might be useful to consider how he would feel if you had concealed something like this, what your motivations would have been to not disclosing - probably to avoid his turning against you. Think about it from the other point of view before you discuss. If he cheated while you were married, then it is a whole other problem.

    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:46 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • sit down and talk calmly...find out what STD it is, get yourself tested/treated...some STDs dont show signs for weeks, months, even years
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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