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What happens now?

I feel as though every thing is my fault, my husband would be happier with someone else. I am 5months and married 1year and a few weeks. Too much has happened in this 1yr, right now things are in chaos. My husband isnt sure he wants to stay because of my family,he is very hurt. I have been holding my hurt in trying to get over it. Our families dont like each other, we dont do anything to make the other person look good, we argue, and our church is an issue. I have listed the main issues without going into them because I use to just give my side, but I want both sides to be stated.

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silly500

Asked by silly500 at 5:33 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Get away from the people causing the problem, and work through YOUR problems TOGETHER. Communicate and learn to compromise with each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • You both need to realize that since you are married, YOU are each others family now. Everyone else is now extended family. As long as you can not have them around each other, and explain to both sides that trash talking is not allowed, you can work on all the issues. It sounds like you both are very stressed, and neither of you is willing to be the first to back down. He married INTO your family, he didn't marry them. He married you. It would be pretty stupid to leave you because of your family. And since you guys are so stressed, you are arguing over things that you normally wouldn't argue over. I'd say to find a mediator, so that you both can explain how you feel, and what you feel needs to change/be worked on. Someone that won't let it get out of hand, that will remind you both of why you are there. Just remember that it's the 2 of you, not his family, not yours. You can't make them like each other.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Don't let them make it your problem. Don't allow trash talk. They don't have to like each other, but they need to respect you and your hubby enough to move past it. Just try to concentrate on your marriage. Fix that, get that on solid ground, then the family crap won't seem so big.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:39 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Don't let your families cause a breakup. Get counseling, maybe with your religious adviser if possible. Talk with each other. If you can, get away for a weekend where you can walk around a bit and talk without home responsibilities. See if you can rekindle what you had when you decided to get married. Good luck.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:40 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • The families need to take a back seat to your marriage. That always causes problems. I know because I've dealt with it for years. The best thing for us to do was basically ignore the family members that were the drama starters. Best thing we ever did.
    kbates1208

    Answer by kbates1208 at 5:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

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