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fighting fighting fighting....so sick of his crap.. divorce?

when my husband and i were dating he was the most charming and loving person.I had no idea what his home life was like(now i wish i had)when i moved in with him (when i was 3 months preg.)i found out that he was infatuated with porn(ya u heard me...) i think that porn is a disgusting thing to assosciate yourself with. and i told him how it made me feel uncomfortable around him and my own body(since i was beginning to look like a house)He told me he understood and he wouldn't do it again.well since then(now my daughter is 5 months) and i have found out that he has been looking at porn behind my back. and i couldn't take the constant lies he gave me so i threatened to leave after so many arguments and too many chances. so i gave him another chance. my friends were saying i was being silly. that all men do it and i agree they do it when thier a teenager not an adult! well last thurs. he did it again... i can't take it anymore!!!

 
Wife_Mommy_18

Asked by Wife_Mommy_18 at 7:35 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (35 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Welcome to hell!! E've been dealing with this for the last 6 years and it doesn't get any better. It doesn't hurt as much now, you kinda just get used to it. The lies haven't stoped either, I just deal. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but nope lol. It is something either you get over or leave, all depending if you can or not.
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 7:39 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Sorry couldn't be with anyone who lied to me
    And thats why I'm going through a divorce!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Go to the website: focusonthefamily and type in pornography addiction in the search box. You'll see some books written on the subject that may help you and hubby.

    It's very hard to stop on your own. He needs help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I personally would not leave a man over a glance here and there at porn..BUT that is just me. Now if it is not as simple as him looking at porn and you feel he has a unhealthy obsession with it then that is a whole different case. Do you think he is cheating on these sites? Like I said if it is to the point that he is addicted to it then you have a problem...BUT if he is just looking every now and again I would not blow up over it..or divorce him over it. Again that is just my thoughts, remember everyone has to do what they are comfortable with and are willing to deal with. Maybe you can start by saying that you dont like it and you would like him to only do it when you are not around. If him looking at porn is taking anything away from the time that he spends with you and his family then I would say he has a problem....otherwise maybe he just does it to pass time and for entertainment...you know..like we do with cafemom!
    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 7:45 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • like was previously mentioned, addictions are not easy to stop even if the person wants to. It's not about you. It's about him and what he's gotten himself hooked on. He probably tries to stop for you but the lure of it is like some sort of drug to these guys. Maybe you can find help for him and get through this together.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • personally i think you are being the most ridiculous person by saying youre gonna leave him over porn. he did what you said and stopped looking at it around you, you may think its disgusting but apparently he doesnt live with it!! being a couple is about making sacrifices and dealing with stuff that you dont want to do its sad that your gonna be just another statistic because of porn
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I think porn is disgusting, degrading, and for desperate guys that don't get any. It doesn't make sence when a guy looks at porn and masturbates when he is with someone that he could have sex with. When my husband and I were engaged I found two dirty videos right before he left for boot camp. I was also three months prego and it made me feel like shit. I even wanted to leave him it hurt so bad since he knew how I felt about him. I know how you feel, it makes you feel like you are not good enough and unattractive. I honestly don't get how watching another guys DICK go into a girl's vagina can be a turn on, isn't that kind of gay. I feel like it's almost as bad as cheating because obviously while they are watching it they are imagining themselves having sex with that dirty whore. I went out and bought a playgirl magazine to see if he would truly understand how I felt, because saying he did wasn't enough. Cont'd
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • When I showed him the magazine he said he didn't like it and he threw it away. But later, when we got onto the subject, he said he lied just so I wouldn't get mad. This may be selfish but I just cut him off completely. If he wants to masturbate to porn than he doesn't need to have sex. For now on I got my dildo and I can invest into a vibrator, which might actually do a better job than he ever has. I know exactly how you feel. Maybe you too can try cutting him off and show him what it's like by getting a magazine or something. And to the anon that said it's ridiculous to get mad about porn, well it's ridiculous to look at porn when you are in a relationship, even when you're not. People, especially men, need to grow up. That is why there is so much sexual stereotypes in the world that single woman out and make them go drastic measures to change themselves. God made us all unique and you shouldn't have to change Cont'
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • yourself because everyone expects woman to be sexy. It's pathetic that people get teased and picked on if their body, face, etc. is not perfect. It doesn't feel good to have a person that supposedly loves you get aroused by a girl that gets PAID to have sex. Porn is part of the reason woman are called whores and men have no respect for woman. It classifies woman as just tools and objects used for sexual entertainment, now that is ridiculous.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

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