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does the fighting ever stop

I have a 15,12,10 and 4 year old and two or three of them are always fighting over silly things too. They call each other names, hit, spit ,bite, pull hair, name it they do it. how do I get them to stop especially since grounding them doesnt work anymore and beating them isnt an option LOL

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heavenlypeace

Asked by heavenlypeace at 8:40 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • let them fight and tell them that you won't feel sorry for them whenever they get hurt. lol.

    okay not the best idea probably, but sometimes we tell my SKs that when they won't stop after we have told them to keep their hands to themselves over and over again. they are younger though and probably a lot less chance for broken bones.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I have to admit that aly has a point. I mean, it works with everything else in the world... it's the natural order. Dogs will fight until dominance is established and the same thing happens with people. My mom told me that she literally left my brothers on the side of the road 2 miles from home one day b/c they were fighting in the back seat of a small car... when she got hit in the process she'd had enough! (They were teens..) Let's just say this was the end of the fights... atleast in the car!
    AggieMamacita

    Answer by AggieMamacita at 8:59 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • Nope. My brother and I still fight and we are 37 and 32. It is all part of being siblings. It does happen less as the kids get older but it still happens.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:31 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • My 3 and 4 yr old fight often. When they are saying mean and hurtful things I make them say something nice to the other. Then we talk about how it feels nicer to say nice things and how it hurts to say mean things. I'm praying that this will help to stop or lessen the fighting. I'll also take the time to ask them how a situation makes them feel and how it could have been different. My DD was bugging my son the other day and he kicked her to move her away from him. He decided he could have used his words and asked her to stop. I asked DD is she would stop and she said no. So I made her say to her brother, I won't listen to you because I want to be mean. Once she said it she was so sad, cried and appologized. She dosen't want to be mean but she needed to see that it was. I told them if they want to be mean and hurt eachother they need to own up to it.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • It isn't going to stop on its own. Like anything else you want your children to learn, you have to be intentional about setting boundaries and issuing consequences. Sibling rivalry is one thing, but physical violence is way out of line. They won't get away with that on a school playground, why should they get away with it at home. No one deserves to be physically asaulted, and children should feel safe in their own home. Step up and use your God-given authority.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 2:17 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

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