Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't get it!!

My friend of 10 years recently broke up with her boyfriend of 8 years they have a 6mo old son and since they've broke up she won't let him see his son unless its at her house or the babysitters she lets and woman who raised her own children around drugs and alcohol watch her 6mo old but don't trust his own father I've been friends with this girl for a long time longer than I've known her ex but i fell she is doing hom wrong, I feel terrible for him he doesn't get to see his son often because he workes out of town but when he is home she only lets him see his son under her conditions and I don't think its right he busts his ass to take care of himself and support his kid and he's been a great dad so far she left him for another guy and I feel he has something to do with it...????? I wantto say something but i don't think its my place. Do you think this is wrong, if so what would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Mar. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I do think it is wrong. If the father signed the birth certificate I would advise hime to file for visitation through the courts.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I think something needs to be said.. how it comes up and how it is said are very important... maybe wait for her to mention it and bring up how wrong you think it is and why and ask her why she's doing this.
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 11:26 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I do think it's wrong, but like you said, it's not your place to say anything. He needs to go to court and fight for visitation on his terms. If he is a fit parent then there is no reason for him not to have his child.
    Rebecca7708

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 11:30 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I'm in a situation with my son's dad where I havn't seen him alone with my son, but ive seen him with him, and he yells at him and believes in spanking, he isnt the best father and hes lazy, so I am naturally worried about letting my son stay with him alone or with his parents even there, because I don't trust that they care enough for him. She is right if she is worried, but if shes trying to do that to just be controlling than shes wrong.
    MickeysMom19

    Answer by MickeysMom19 at 11:33 PM on Mar. 24, 2009

  • I think it would be wrong for you to say something. You have no clue what really brought on the end of the relationship --- only those directly involved do.

    Regardless of the reasons, it is a good idea to keep visitation on her terms until a custody agreement is reached and filed. By law, whoever has actual physcial custody of a child w/o an order holds the cards. Period. So, if he came to take the baby for an afternoon and just decided for whatever reason not to return him... by law, he doesn't have to. He wouldn't even have to let her see him if he didn't want to.

    Maybe he's a great guy. Maybe he'd never do that. But to a mom, "maybe" just isn't enough to risk it..
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:41 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Tell him to go to court. He has rights and there is nothing that says he can't go get his son when he wants to see him. He can take him from the babysit to probably.. its his kid.. if he loves him let him fight for him.. even if it's messed up that he has to
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 4:49 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.