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DD and I got into a huge fight last night...Is our marriage on it's last legs??

So it all started when I mentiona a baseball player from the Red Sox was cute....My DD started to curse at me and I told him that I am miserable and wanted a Divorce well then he proceeded to throw a glass on the floor next to the couch I was on..We have NEVER fought this bad before..I feel like he took something that he knew about my childhood and used it against me in present day..I trusted him with this info and I feel like he stabbed me in the back...Now I am on the verge of walking away from this marriage I don't want this sort of stuff in my future nor do I want my children to witness this type of behavior..DD said he knows he was wrong and apologized...Do I forgive or do I move on.. Everyone makes mistakes and entitled to another chance...but who is to say that it won't happen again..I am still very pissed off as this happened last night..He painted a very ugly picture.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You said another man was cute... sheesh... okie... well, that probably let out the jealous defensive said of him and he was probably hurt... and most people will lash out when they feel hurt. He probably has it in his head that you don't find him attractive...

    Turn the tables, if he had done the same thing, would you be pissed?
    Gremlyn

    Answer by Gremlyn at 8:29 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I agree with Gremlyn. Also, did you tell him you wanted a divorce before or after he started using your childhood to attack you in the present? I know, personally, that I would be so beyond crushed if during an argument my husband blurted out he wanted a divorce that I'd used everything I could to make him feel as worthless and unloved and hurt as that statement made me feel.
    AnimalLover80

    Answer by AnimalLover80 at 8:35 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • i thought dd stood for darling daughter or dear daughter?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I don't agree with the first two at all.. I don't believe there is anything wrong with saying a *famous* person is attractive. I've said it before about many baseball players, country singers, and johnny depp LOL and my hubby is in love with jessica simpson. How can that really cause jealousy.. we have NO CHANCE with these people. That should NOT have caused a big explosion. If her husband is uncomfortable with her saying this then he should have said "honey I don't appreciate you talking about other men like that" But I don't see anything wrong with it.

    I don't believe however, that divorce should be discussed in the mist of a fight. It should be discussed during a calm discussion when your anger is already at its highest.

    AND no matter how upset he is he SHOULDN'T be throwing GLASS at her! And reopening childhood scars.
    lonelymom911

    Answer by lonelymom911 at 8:42 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Which player?? LOL. Josh Beckett?
    Seriously, he should not have done what he did. It sounds like there's something else going on with him, other than just being jealous of someone he knows that (most likely, no offense) you will never meet. Bringing up past stuff and throwing glass is NOT COOL. Like I said, something else is going on with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Maybe he's a Yankee fan?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • thats ridiculous. i think you 2 should kiss and make up though
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 8:58 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • lol @ the yankee fan comment. However, what I read, and correct me if I'm wrong, is he threw the glass at the FLOOR... NEXT TO the COUCH she was on (from her original question/post). I can't say, in his position, being told "I want a divorce" because he got jealous I wouldn't have done the same thing. I know when my husband accused me of being attracted to his brother (completely unfounded, stupid argument) and that I'd cheat on him I was livid and ended up throwing things against the wall behind him. Never aimed for him, but was so pissed I needed to hit or break something, and didn't want to attack him. That's just my experience and my personal feelings/reactions.
    AnimalLover80

    Answer by AnimalLover80 at 9:00 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • First, DD is darling daughter. I think you meant to say DH, which means Darling husband. lol. It's hard to learn the CM lingo if you are new here.
    Anyway, he sounds like he is a really jealous, insecure person. Maybe insecure with his looks. I'd say if that's true, you will have a hell of a time being with him. Jealous, insecure men often don't let their wives go anywhere, they think looking at a man automatically means you "want" him, and even if you don't look at a man, sometimes they'll accuse you of it anyway! If he's like that, you might as well tell him straight up you will NOT accept that behavior and he has the option to get over it or either get a divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • The fact that he THREW A GLASS is a HUGE warning sign. This is NOT a "kiss and make up" situation. His reaction was COMPLETELY inappropriate for the situation.

    ANYONE who would be that insecure over their SO expressing admiration for someone completely unattainable has real issues. So if the tables are turned, and your husband says, "That actress Amy Adams sure is cute," NO, you should NOT feel angry or jealous. It's highly unlikely an Academy Award nominee will have anything to do with YOUR HUSBAND because the likelihood of them ever even meeting is slim to none. Your jealousy over fannishness makes you seem ridiculous.

    In this case, the man is more than ridiculous. He needs some anger management.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:24 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

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