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Did you ever get so tired, and decided it is time to leave?

I fell in love, we have kids now I ask him, why he changed? He wonders why I don't want to be near him? I try to explain I am not happy, he don't say nothing, but I have a lot of problems, I can't deal with this now, well now is 4 years. I can't hold on anymore, I am tired of being upset, tired of crying, tired of feeling like a single mom. I am scared of being alone again, embarrassed, What else can I do? No he does not hit me, but he yells alot, he don't want friends or me to have friends. What do I do? What am I scared of? We do have kids.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Get out. Do not be embarrased about being a single mom or having a relationship fail. YOu deserve to be happy. Its natural to be scared of the unknown but how can you know how at peace and happy you could be until you get brave and do it. YOu could maybe just try a seperation at first. I left with 4 small kids under way diffrent circumstances than yours now I am remarried to a great guy who all the kids call dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • ok this is exactly my situation!! i left him! ive gone through a year of this crap! i got really tired of it an i left about a month ago! it was too much for me he was awful i went through hell with him. maybe you need to think about leaving?
    4lyfe56

    Answer by 4lyfe56 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I'm going to go against the others here and say.. marriage isn't always easy and no it's not good to yell, but you've still got a lot you CAN work with to salvage this marriage. It's never too late for both of you to listen to each other, to try to be like who you were when you fell in love and promised each other forever. Every relationship has points where you one of you wants out, but me, I don't want to be out there with my kids, trying to support myself (I'm a SAHM), and I know that I've had life a whole lot worse than I've got it now. And I don't want my kids to know I'm the one that broke up their family, that I'm the one that walked away and they wouldn't be able to see Dad every day (even if it's not but for a few minutes on some days, atleast he's here). The yelling can definetely be worked on. buy the book 40 Day Dare to try to save your marriage
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:02 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Just so you know, I thought 4 years of me trying and him not listening is enough, Oh, I do love him, but He don't listen to the way I feel, we did therapy for a while but then he decided it was inconvient to go-because it was a few towns over. He is Selfish, and honestly I am sooo tired of fighting, he don't trust no one, he is a loner, He may like it that way but I don't I want to be blessed around my family and friends. He wants nothing but movies. Now what do I keep trying, Last night I could not sleep at all. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I am going through the same thing. this is the third time i have gone back to him trying to work things out. hes mean, disrespectful,everything is always my fault,and he thinks what he says is always right and are the gospal. its terrible! I am working on trying to get out now. but dont just leave because you want to give up. Leave because you have tried everything and you know that there in no hope. hope all ends up ok for you. Your in a hard spot!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Sounds to me like you've made up your mind what you want to do... but I for one am not going to say "if I were you, I'd leave". Sorry I can't do that to make you feel better about it but there's a whole lot of women on here who will advise you to leave so I'll sit back and watch them convince you how you're justified in leaving because he yells at you and doesn't listen. Lots of women on here have a lot of valid reasons for leaving.. .like being beaten nearly to death or finding out your hubby's been sleeping with friends or strangers.. and for the record, it would be hard and inconvenient to drive 2 or 3 towns away for therapy once or twice a week... and I can only imagine the car ride home after a heated session... I wish you happiness in whatever decision you make.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:27 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • LEAVE! Its not a bad thing being a single mom. You're better off without him anyways. I had a boyfriend like this then after he hit my daughter I kicked his ass out and never spoke to him again even if we were together for 9 mos and he helped me raise her but he crossed the line. You need to think about whats best for you and your children. Don't stay again and try to work things out if nothings really changed. Its just not worth it anymore. You deserve better and you'll find someone better eventually. It just takes time and believe me I know how you feel because I was scared to be alone at first but then I realized that I didn't need a man to help me raise my daughter but she still sees her dad every other weekend. Good luck!
    Native_Mommy253

    Answer by Native_Mommy253 at 11:50 AM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I left my husband after seven years and one child, but he had some serious mental illness I couldn't take anymore. (pathological lying, bisexuality, etc., etc.) Since you love him and are not in danger physically, you should work on you marriage. If you are Christian, you know how important it is. God can be your life preserver when you are drowning in your problems. I'm speaking from both sides, a divorcee and someone who will never do it again. You can also just do a temporary separation (with no intention of being permanent) just to get things in perspective for both of you, while you are seeking counseling or going to church, etc.
    I wish you all the best.
    swankyjen

    Answer by swankyjen at 12:43 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • It's always better to work it out! If he's not abusive, cheating or doing something illegal (like drugs) then do everything you can to work on it. Maybe some marriage counseling? Divorce is terrible for everyone involved. Avoid it at all costs. Do not chase happiness or your feelings. Do what's right and the happiness/feelings will follow.
    BubNSoap

    Answer by BubNSoap at 12:49 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • im in the same situation only i been with my for 6yrs and have 2 kids
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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