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Question for Mother-in-Laws

There are so many posts on here about obnoxious or mean MILs. I have to admit, I truely love my MIL but she can drive me crazy! She ALWAYS wants to be around and do stuff with us. I mean, I appreciate that but sometimes I want to spend time alone with my husband and baby. I am wondering what the MILs think about their DILs... Is it hard to be in the position where you want a say in raising the baby but know that it is not your place? Do you know that you irritate your DIL sometimes or do you feel that DILs should take some responsibility too? Just curious to hear the other side because I need something to make me like my MIL a little more! :)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • This is a great question. I will be a MIL officially in August. But I consider myself one now - why not, a paper doesn't make the relationship. I really trust my son's ability to choose who he wants in his life. I trust his judgement on choosing this girl to marry. When I met her I instantly liked her. We were both comfortable around each other. With that, I feel we've gotten off to a good start. I know what it's like to be in a new relationship, and know the desire to be alone with that person/child. I don't plan on intruding in that, they will only have a "new" relationship with each other once, they need to enjoy that time. I feel my relationship with my son is such that if there were in-law issues, he would make me aware. I hope I raised him to know, that when he marries, he "leaves his mother, and cleaves to his wife". Therefore I will take on a much different role in his life.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:01 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Wow EireLass... you sound like a great MIL!!
    AliMom714

    Answer by AliMom714 at 2:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I can only speak for myself. I have one I love...and one I can't stand. I try to stay out of their business. However, don't call me complaining about a problem and then tell me to stay out of your business. I offer advise about whatever they ask me. I understand it is advise..they can take it or leave it. We are now raising our grandkids ( my oldest sons kids)
    . My youngest has only been married a few months. His wife is very much like a daughter to me. I love her very much and we can talk. I tell her how we did things in the past, we talk about how things are done now and do a little research about which she thinks would work for her. DO I irritate them..probably. Is that my goal...of course not. They live almost 200 miles away now and that makes it really hard in some ways...in others I think it makes it easier. You are so happy to see them when you get a chance that generally there is less fussing about the little crap.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:06 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I had a monster-in-law who tried to run my entire life in every way. So I watched my children grow up absolutely determined I would NEVER do that! I dearly love the girl my son has chosen to share his life with. I refuse to give her any advice unless asked for it, and even then I will just give her one or two general suggestions and always make sure she understands that they are just suggestions and I am not telling her what to do. I've always told both of them I do not want to hear it if they have a problem with each other because I don't want to take sides. I also do not want to hear about their money. I know she thinks this is strange, especially since her own mother does try to micro-manage her (their) life. Which is another thing that is not my business although sometimes I bite my tongue not to tell her to tell her mother to get lost. They have to learn on their own like we did.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 2:40 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I would gladly trade my Monster In Law for one of you lovely ladies any day! It's nice to know that some where out there, there are MIL's that stay out of their kids lives/marriages/ways of raising kids and let them live their own lives.
    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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