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should I change who I am?

I am 20, didnt EVER plan on having a baby, and my birth control failed miserably and now I am soon to be due with a little girl. I am excited and very happy with my choice to keep her as my own but my family tells me I should start acting like a mom.. Not that I am not motherly but I have bright fire engine red hair, and 17 tattoos one right on my collar bone and it goes all the way down to my belly button, not something you can easily hide. I listen to heavy metal and hard rock and punk rock and I have body peirceings.
I say all the time, that I wouldnt care if my daughter grew up and did the same things I do, like get tattoos and peircings, my mother says that will change, I will be ashamed of my little girl, and will soon regret my own. that no one will marry a tattooed "wild" child. maybe shes right, I dont attract the best guys, I am gonna be a single mother I dont know if Ishould change now, or forever hold my peace

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • Be who YOU want to be and tell everyone else to go f*ck themselves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • you will change even if you dont want to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I agree with your mother.. You may not believe it now but you will soon. I wish you the best!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Hard rock, tatts and piercings do not make you a bad mom, I dont have that many tatts, but everything else is about the same... hair color might change, you might become more self aware and tone things down some but I dont think children change you that much...we are all not June Cleaver LOL, but I am a damn good mom, intelligent and in a field that saves lives, and helps people deal with or get over there illness regardless of the music I listen to or how many tatts I have. As far as a mate, well you appearance might hinder you some but Mr. Right is out there
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 2:57 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • everyone changes a little but you should be yourself...my mom never tells me to change but my husbands parents are always trying to change who he is because he is a heavy metal gutair player...i have a tatoo and my husbands hair is always dyed black oh and i got pregnant with our son at 15 i didnt drop out i stayed in school and i am now a CNA none of that makes us bad parents...and plus im sure youll love ur kid no matter what she is like
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Maybe not change A LOT but, tone it down a little bit. And be careful what the words in your music is because soon your baby will be repeating them. My hubby was a little wild but, when he met me he calmed down because I had a child and we were planning on having some kids of our own. I think you'll naturally change though. Before you know it you'll be saying how cute the pink flowery dresses are for your daughter!!
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:59 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • WOW anon 2:54 way to judge! I believe you should be who you are, what you look like doesn't make you a good mother. Just be there for you little girl and do the best you can, Don't listen to what people say because who are they to say what a "MOTHER" should look like or be interested in!
    gettingfat89

    Answer by gettingfat89 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • You should never change who you are. Screw the people who say other wise. Be who you are or you will regret it later than you will have a problem
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • No reason to suddenly wash out the color, put on an apron and become a Stepford. Call me kooky, but my mother always encouraged individualism and creativity, and I think there's nothing wrong with self-expression so long as you're not harming yourself or anyone else. I like to dye my hair in stripes (my hair was bronze and scarlet a few months ago and everyone raved about it) and I have a tattoo. I think when it comes down to it, you need to ask yourself if you'd be changing to benefit your child in some way or just to satisfy someone else's sense of approval. Do you really want to start Barbie-ing up and explain to your daughter later on that it's not about who you are or what you love, but how other people perceive you?

    Parents deserve respect, but I think your mom needs to chill out and let you be who you are. Let's be honest - you probably wouldn't be happy pretending to be someone else.
    Reulia

    Answer by Reulia at 3:17 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • im goin w all the people that are telling you Not to change who You are and screw mommy...we're growing up in a different day of age and we're all tattooed these days, so who's mommy to say that a 'tatooed wild child' isnt gonna be the norm when our kids are adults?
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 3:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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