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How do I get along with my sister

That I just cannot seem to get along with? She is condescending and judgemental and always accusing of something. If I have gained weight (or not), she'll say, "It looks like you have gained weight"? or "It must be about time to color your hair again". My husband is in the military and must be gone quite a bit and she has said to me that we must be having trouble since he is away so much and that he does not help me around the house much. I could just strangle her!!!! I love her, but I don't know what to do with her! There are 3 other siblings in the family and they tolerate her as well. I just want peace in the family. Advice, anyone????


Asked by haroldswife at 5:24 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • It's hard to know without knowing her better. I have a sister who has undiagnosed bordline personality disorder. It's almost impossible to get along with her. The only way I've survived time spent with her is to limit it greatly. With some people, talking to them works great, but others are irrational and refuse to see anyone's point of view but their own. There's no winning with them.
    Sounds like she might be a little jealous of you and putting you down a bit makes her feel better about herself.

    My husband has a solution that seems to work for him. He just laughs at them like their really funny. They get irritated and quit after a while.

    Answer by Jezara at 8:22 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • How about ...its not her, its you.
    You cant change her. What she does is completly up to her. You cannot do anything to change her, other than come to an understanding .

    Love her anyways like you are. Accept her for HOW she is...and dont let her effect YOU negativly. One thing ive learned is, its not the people around us who we are suposed to deal with, its us.
    Let her words go one ear out the other. Most times when people are picking at other people, its because they arent feeling so secure. Try complimenting her. Even when its really hard too.
    Best wishes > Amber

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 5:30 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • yeh screw that!!! - yeah you have to accept her to a degree but who wants to sit back and DEAL with that?? not me lol -
    Talk to her about it - let her know how your feeling - Go into with "I's" not "You's" - People get defensive if you bring it on them right away - Just say like "i dont like it when you do this...." & "I dont appreciate that...." - Put your feelings on the table && if she isnt responsive to them than thats when you have no control over it - But you put in your foot work & your side of the street is clean - so really in the end it would all come down to your sisters willingness to have compassion and understanding towards your feelings - If all else fails, smack her lol --- JUST KIDDDINGGG.... GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 6:17 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • NO you should'nt have to tolerate toxic people. If she hurts your feelings then you need to let her know and then leave. And distance yourself from her. Just don't be around her as much and if she calls keep it really short. If she says something nasty don't take her calls for awhile. Family has to act right. They can't just run all over someone and that person have to take it. I can take a stranger being rude because they have no love for me. But someone who claims they love you should act like it. When they don't then you should be willing to distance yourself and let them figure it out. You wil never be able to make a insecure person secure. And until they fix their issues they always will have something nasty to say.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 10:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I would like to thank all of you so much. I appreciate everyone's input. I will take all advice seriously. Thank you.

    Answer by haroldswife at 10:51 PM on Mar. 25, 2009