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My daughter lies and is losing interest in daddy daughter time, what should i do?

Hey there,
My issue is with my eldest, She is 7, 8 next month. She lies about the dumbest minutest things that mean nothing, and it dives me around the bend!!!!! I am at a loss, I have tried grounding he, taking things away, talking to her, everything!!! Her dad says when she goes to his house, its a constant array of useless lies! But the problem there is she doesn't even want to go anymore! Is she lying with him just to get attention??? I find it sad that my daughter comes to me and says "mommy, do i have to go to my dad's house?" I am at a loss and any help would be greatly appreciated!!! I'm pretty sure with her dad, she lies to lash out, or get attention, but that is unnecessary with me as we are very close! thanks for reading!

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briwillansmom

Asked by briwillansmom at 5:58 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (3)
  • ok she is 7...I have had 3 girls be that age( and 3 friends that also had 3 girls each, weird, I know)...it was an age that made me want to pull my hair out and run away! Seriously it is the worst age and she will outgrow it when by the age of 9.
    All you can do is stay firm and tell her the consequences of lying. Now is the age to nip that in the bud. Maybe even go as far as lying to her in a way where she will catch you and then reverse it and ask her how she felt about being lied too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Get to the bottom of the lies. Is it only at her dads? At home? At school? Is it all about the same issue? Talk to her one-on-one (non-confronting) the next time she says something you believe to be a lie, dig into it and get specific and ask lots of questions and details so as to pinpoint what is occurring. Sometimes kids make "general statements" but when you drill down into it and continue to ask them questions about what they said, if they are not telling the truth they will trip their ownself up. If you continue to do this...they will figure out that they cant get away with it because you are going to drill down and more details. Here are some good books for kids about honesty  http://astore.amazon.com/wwwcjkidzcom3-20?%5Fencoding=UTF8&node=18

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 2:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Oh boy that is a hard age. They do eventually grow out of it. 10-12 isnt so bad and they hit puberty UGH. I would def. try to find out why she is lying and then keep up with the consequences. I would also find out why she doesnt want to go to her dads. She may be getting bored. My husbands idea of bonding and fun is having our daughter sit on his lap while he watches hunting shows. She is 61/2 now and isnt so impressed with this anymore. Or maybe dad is making her have consequences for her actions and she isnt liking that. Perhaps you and her dad should make a plan of attack and then have a sit down with DD.  Letting her know that things are going to be "this way" for her behavior at both houses.  Even though your not together you should still have the same rules and expectations etc. 

    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:46 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

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